


Blurry's the one I'm not

by Shootingstarprince



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: And not the good kind, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, At first this wasn't supposed to have Josh/Blurryface, Based around the Blurryface album, Blurry is an asshole, Blurryface, Blurryface (Character) - Freeform, Blurryface is kind of like Tyler's other personality, But I love writing him so much, But then I kinda really started liking that pairing, Choking, Depression, Feels, Handjob in one chapter, Hurt/Comfort, I suck at tagging, It's hard to explain, Jenna Who?, Josh/Blurryface, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Nightmares, Not a song fic though, Pain, Personality Disorder, Self-Harm, Sexual Content, So yeah, Song Refrences, Suicide Attempt, They are still twenty one pilots though, They just live together and there are no wives, Trigger warning in every chapter, Tysh, Violence, You'll understand from the first chapter, au-ish, but not really, joshler - Freeform, mentions of self harm, suicidal tyler, unintentional self-harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-11-15 08:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 26,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11227146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shootingstarprince/pseuds/Shootingstarprince
Summary: Tyler Joseph is two-faced, literally. It's not something a person just walking past could see, but Tyler definitely knew it. He heard it. The creature inside of his head that just wouldn't shut up. The creature that had always been there and would always be there, until the day it would finally get Tyler to end his life. And Tyler would, because he was weak.Joshua Dun never meant to get so mixed up in all of that, but he just really wants to save Tyler, though he doesn't quite know what he's saving him from.





	1. the second shadow of tyler joseph

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, hey, hey. So I decided to post this fic because I have been writing it so much. I have kind of mixed feelings about the storyline, but hey, I'm not about to just leave it somewhere in my phone collecting dust (metaphorically). So, here it is I guess. 
> 
> I'll be posting it in chapters because it's not done yet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of suicide]

Ever since he had been a child, Tyler Joseph had had a second shadow. No, not the kind you can see on the ground when the sun hits you in the right angle. Not at all. Shadow, the kind of shadow that creeps on the walls when it thinks you're not looking and whispers things into your ear while you sleep. Some would call it imaginary, but Tyler knew better. It was far from something a child could make up, much less keep seeing throughout his teenage and adult years.

And Tyler Joseph wasn't the "sure" kind of guy. He was and always had been, the type to say "maybe", the type to guess rather than know, but one thing he knew for sure; he wasn't making it all up. He was not making up the hours of fuzzy memories that ate away at his days or the barely noticeable red flash in his eyes when he dragged himself to the bathroom and looked at himself through the mirror, not feeling quite himself. He was not making up the things his body did on his own or the words that sometimes came out of his mouth without his consent and he most definitely was not making up the soft, yet dark and deep voice in the back of his head whispering blasphemy in the dark. 

Tyler often questioned his sanity. Maybe he was just going nuts from all the stress of playing shows and coming up with new lyrics. But, no, no, that couldn't be it, he couldn't bring himself to believe it, not, because this 'something', this shadow, this sinking feeling that was him but not quite, had been with him for as long as he could remember. And Tyler still didn't know anything about it. Or perhaps, 'anything', was an exaggeration. He did know something. He knew the unpleasant, distorted voice better than the back of his hand and had grown accustomed to the filth and nonsense it spat at him. And he also knew a name, or maybe it wasn't a name, it was more of a word, but that's what the young man had learned to call the shadow he shared his breath with. Blurry. Just Blurry. It was a word the voice repeated sometimes and to Tyler that was now it's name.

Once when Tyler had been close to mentally crumbling down because of this 'friend' of his, he had searched up mental disorders, or more so, personality disorders. He had read through the symptoms and yes, they did match, but something was still out of place. There was just something missing, that Tyler couldn't explain. He just somehow knew that Blurry wasn't just a fragment of him, a 'split personality'. Maybe he was that too, but not just that. There was more, but Tyler didn't know what. He became more scared of the next time he would get his regular memory breaks, when Blurry would "step forward" and take his place in this shell he called his body. The body he shared. Still, fearing did him no good, as that only seemed to excite the demon or whatever Blurry was. It would whisper things like;

"You're scared of your own image, your immaturity." 

"Scared of the ceiling, Tyler? Afraid it will fall and crush you?"

"You're so uncertain. Did you know that kills people? Uncertainty? Uncertainty and fear. And oh, how you fear."

"Are you anxious, Tyler? That's what fear does to you."

"They're all going to forget about you and leave you if you doubt everything and everyone. Not that they won't forget anyway."

"Poor you. You anxious wreck would be nothing without them."

And those words made Tyler's hands shake and chills run down his back. He felt a lump in his throat as he took a pen in his shaking hand, before pressing it on the surface of a clean sheet of paper. Writing was almost impossible with teary (blurry) eyes and trembling (anxiety, fear) hands, but soon, words filled the paper. 

'Scared of my own image,  
Scared of my own immaturity.  
Scared of my own ceiling.  
Scared I'll die of uncertainty.  
Fear might be death of me,  
Fear leads to anxiety.  
Don't know what's inside of me.  
Don't forget about me.  
Don't forget about me.  
Even when I doubt you,  
I'm no good without you.'

He knew that those were Blurry's words, something he should forget and ignore, but he wrote them down because they were true. Scared, scared, scared, scared. Fear, fear. Don't, don't. True, every word. He felt pathetic, because of how true those words were. He was shaken out of his depressing thoughts by a ringing, victorious voice in the back if his head that said: "Tyler's suicide note in a song."

"It's not," Tyler said out loud and felt shivers running down the back of his shared body and the next time Blurry spoke, it felt almost like the room wasn't empty after all, like the demonic creature was standing right next to him: "Now, now. Writing something so very sad...The next step is to just slit your wrists pretty much." The voice was careless, but malicious at the same time and Tyler wanted to bang his head against the wall until he would pass out. 

"Go away," He breathed out, barely audible, holding the pen in his hand so tightly it hurt. There was a short, low, laugh and a sing-song whisper: "You can make me go away. Just cut a neat little line from heeere," Tyler could've sworn he felt a finger trace across his wrist and down his arm: "--to here and I'll go away."

"No!" Tyler actually yelled this time and nearly fell over on his chair. He dropped the pen and buried his face in his hands, trying to breathe. He heard steps nearing and stopping right by him and he didn't dare to raise his head, because he feared that he would face a demon with foul red eyes and a devilish smile. But then a voice, that was familiar to him in a completely different way, a voice that was so much softer and calmer, spoke: "Hey Tyler, are you okay, man? I heard you yelling."


	2. josh, the knight in shining armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: none, I don't think so]

Josh. Tyler could've sobbed from happiness when he heard his drummer's kind voice. It filled his ears like music and he looked up at the taller man. Josh' expression was worried when he looked down at his best friend and Tyler swayed it his chair a bit. I'm no good without you, he thought to himself. Josh cared about him and Josh would never leave him. 

"Or would he?"

Shut up, shut up, shut up! He wouldn't. Tyler realized he must've been staring when Josh' expression went even more worried and he asked what was wrong. Tyler snapped out of it, mentally telling the shadow to shut it and replied: "I was sleep talking. I-I had a nightmare." He couldn't tell Josh the truth. Josh would think that he was crazy. 

Josh made a face and touched his shoulder reassuringly. Tyler felt like that touch left a pure spot after it, like it cleaned away some of the sin that was staining Tyler's skin. He ached for more. He needed something to take his mind off Blurry. So, he stood up and nearly jumped on Josh wrapping his arms around his neck and burying his head into his shoulder. Josh was still for a moment, not used to Tyler suddenly hugging him. Then he wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist and pulled him closer. Tyler felt safe there and clung onto Josh like a drowning man. And in a way he was drowning. Drowning in the blackness that was Blurry and Josh was saving him, holding him up. 

"That must've been a bad nightmare," Josh said worriedly. Tyler swallowed thickly and sniffed. He couldn't cry now. Josh would ask questions that Tyler couldn't give him answers to. So, he just nodded against Josh's shoulder and whispered: "Really bad."

"It's okay now," Josh told him and Tyler almost believed him. He so, so wanted to believe him. And he did, maybe for a second and then Blurry was speaking again. It's voice felt like Tyler was drowning again, even as he held onto Josh. 

"You think Joshua can save you?" Blurry spoke and Tyler could hear amusement mixed in with the deep voice: "He can't. Oh, dear Tyler, not even close. I could crush him like a bug." Blurry nearly sang the last part and Tyler was sure that he felt a trace of cold breath against his ear. Tyler's heart sped up and that's when he realized. Josh wasn't holding him up, nobody could hold him up, not when Blurry was pulling him down. Josh wasn't holding him up, he was drowning too and Tyler couldn't let that happen. He let go of Josh and pushed at his chest lightly until the drummer let go. He couldn't get Josh mixed into all of this. He couldn't let Josh, pure, beautiful Josh, go down with him. He stared at Josh blankly not knowing what to do or say. He felt faint. It took him a moment to realize that Josh was speaking. He struggled to make out the words. He felt like the other man was somewhere very far away, though he was standing right there, in front of him. Then suddenly, Josh' voice rang out loud and clear. 

"Tyler, say something!" He exclaimed, shaking Tyler by his shoulders. Tyler snapped out of his trance and somehow he had ended up on his knees on the floor. He looked up at Josh and opened his mouth but no words came out. Josh shook his head at him and helped him up. Tyler's legs felt like jelly. He leaned on Josh and Josh let him, starting to walk him towards the bedroom. 

"Where--?" He managed, but he felt like he had forgotten how to speak. Josh sighed. It was a worried sigh. Tyler smiled a bit. Josh cared. Then his smile faltered. Josh couldn't save him. And Tyler couldn't let him try, because Blurry would crush him like a bug and he wouldn't let that happen to Josh. Still, despite himself, he let Josh lead him to the bedroom and lay him down on the bed. 

"Get some sleep, Ty. You're too stressed out and you need to rest. I'll be right in the other room, okay?" Josh said and Tyler wanted to ask him to stay, but couldn't bring himself to. Instead, he nodded and Josh left the room, closing the door after himself. Now it was just Tyler, the dark and Blurry.


	3. conversations in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Blurry is being creepy?¿?]

"Are you scared for your little drummer?" Blurry drawled in the back of Tyler's head and Tyler closed his eyes, whispering: "Leave him out of this."

"Josh. Joshua. Josh Dun. Joshie. He could die any day now, " Blurry taunted and Tyler wanted to scream. But he didn't. Instead he took a deep breath: "What are you?"

"'What'? Not 'who'? My, my, Tyler that is rude," Blurry replied, but Tyler didn't give in: "You're not human. You're not a person. If you were, I could see you. You are--I can't even know that you're real. So, yes, what are you?" 

"Hm. Would you like to see me?" Blurry asked and Tyler felt like his heart was about to stop. Still he tried to sound fearless when he replied: "I'd rather not." Blurry laughed and Tyler shivered. Then it was silent again, for a long moment, before the distorted voice spoke again: "I am everything you are and just the opposite."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Tyler scoffed, though he was paralyzed with fear. Blurry hummed and replied, his speech turning into a song again: "I have two faces, Tyler's the one I'm not. One day, I'll take him out."

Tyler covered his eyes with his hands, shaking. Blurry's laugh echoed in his head and he really just needed to sleep. Blurry was quiet now and Tyler felt himself beginning to slip into the comfortable blackness that was sleep. Just before he drifted off, he heard a whisper: "See you in your dreams, Tyler."

I̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶w̶o̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶B̶l̶u̶r̶r̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶.̶ ̶I̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶.̶ ̶


	4. the white room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of suicide, Slight violence, Panic Attack, Nightmare]

Tyler opened his eyes and he was in a completely white room. For a moment, he thought that something had happened and that he was in the hospital. Then he realized that he was laying on the floor. There was no bed or no furniture at all. Just a white room, filled with white noise. Tyler sat up and let out a gasp, because someone was standing there, a few feet away from him. The singer stood up on his shaky legs and quietly said: "Hello?" 

The person didn't move. Just stayed there, looking down. They were dressed in all black, aside from a red beanie on their head. Tyler looked down at himself and noticed that he too was only wearing black, a black t-shirt and black jeans. He swallowed thickly and looked back up. He took a hesitant step closer and called out again. No answer, but this time the person twitched slightly. And then suddenly they had crossed the distance to Tyler, grabbed a nearly bruising hold of his shoulders and looked up into Tyler's eyes. 

Tyler screamed and if it hadn't been for the tight hold this person had on his shoulders, he would've fallen over. He was looking at himself. The face of the person looking back at him was nobody else's but his own. Except that it wasn't at all. This clone of him had eyes that could only be described as demonic. They were red and the pupils were unnaturally small. His neck was stained with something that looked like black paint and sin. He raised one of his hands from Tyler's shoulder and the man could now see that it too was painted black. The creature calmly placed his hand over Tyler's mouth and cut off his scream. Tyler was paralyzed once more, wanting to do something, just push this, whatever the hell it was, away from him. 

Turns out he didn't have to. Because in a split second after he had finished that thought, the thing pushed him back so hard he fell backwards onto the white floor. 

"Does this feel real enough for you, Tyler?" Drawled a distorted voice Tyler knew way too well. He felt like all of the air was being squeezed out of his lungs. Somehow he managed to gasp out: "Blurry."

"Bingo," Blurry replied, grinning. That grin was far from friendly. It was terrible and foul, just plain disturbing. He crouched down in front of Tyler and spoke quietly: "What am I? You wanted to know. Am I not real? Am I not a person? You can see me now, can't you?" 

"You are--you're a demon," Tyler whispered, slowly backing away. Blurry frowned and bit his lip thoughtfully before answering: "There's no such thing as demons. Hell doesn't exist."

"How would you know?" Tyler asked, still trying to back away. Blurry followed, crawling after him as he spoke: "Because if it did I would've dragged you down there already."

Tyler's back hit the wall and he was truly trapped now. Blurry was close now, so close Tyler could feel his cold breath on his face. Tyler's own breathing was coming out in short panicked puffs and he was shaking from head to toe. 

"I'm all of your insecurities. I'm your depression. I'm all of the pent up feelings you keep locked away in that stupid little head of yours and I own every inch of you," Blurry spoke: "Just you wait. Because one day I won't be just a voice at the back of your head. There are two ways this can end."

Blurry grabbed Tyler's wrist tightly, leaving a black stain on it. He traced his finger down Tyler's arm and whispered: "One; you slit your wrists and die."

He let go of Tyler's wrist and the black stain started to spread: "I take control over your weak mind and do as I please." Tyler looked down at his arm in horror as the black spread to his fingers and wrapped itself around his arm. Blurry grinned and leaned even closer to whisper into Tyler's ear: "And nobody can save you."

"No!" Tyler screamed, pushing him back as hard as he could. Tyler was too shaky to stand so he just covered his head with his arms and curled into himself. He wasn't sure if he was screaming or whispering when he spoke again: "Help me, help me, help me.. Someone please, someone, anyone. Help me, Josh, help--" 

Hands grabbed at his wrists again. He was going to die. Blurry was going to take over and he was going to die because he was too weak. And Blurry was going to hurt Josh and everyone. Crush them. Tyler screamed again and tried to pull his hands away: "No, no, no!" 

"Tyler!" Screamed someone even louder than him. That wasn't Blurry's voice. Tyler went completely still and his body just seemed to give up. His hands were pulled away from his face, or had he been holding onto his arms instead? He wasn't sure. He was trembling so hard he feared his bones were going to crack. And he still couldn't open his eyes. Then the bright voice stabbed through his panic again: "Tyler, snap out of it!"


	5. loves me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Unintentional Self-harm]

Tyler's eyes snapped open and he found himself looking at a very worried Josh. Josh. It was Josh. His drummer with his disheveled pink hair and brown eyes. No trace of red in his eyes or black paint anywhere. Tyler caught his breath and broke down into a sobbing fit. It was Josh. Josh was saving him. 

Josh's arms wrapped around him and Tyler was clinging to him again. He was crying his eyes out and babbling nonsense, repeating Josh' name over and over again and Josh just held him until he slowly started to calm down. Tyler had no idea how long it took, but he did calm down. He was still a shaky mess, but no longer sobbing and actually capable of speech. 

"Josh, don't go yet," he begged and knew that he sounded pathetic but he couldn't let go of Josh just yet. The drummer just hugged him tighter and replied: "I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay here all night if you want."

Josh had woken up to Tyler screaming for help and crying out his name in the most heartbreaking voice ever. Josh had run into his room where he had found Tyler writhing on his bed and screaming in his sleep, pulling at his hair. He had immediately ran up to his friend and pulled him into a sitting position. Tyler had curled into himself and started scratching at his own arms so hard Josh was sure there would be marks there for a long time. Josh had pulled Tyler's hands away from himself to keep him from harming himself more and then managed to get the smaller man to snap our of his nightmare. Tyler felt so small and fragile in his arms and Josh held him and would hold him for as long as he needed it. He wanted to protect Tyler from whatever that had been in his dream and scared him so badly. 

Tyler felt so safe in Josh's arms. For once, Blurry was quiet too, though Tyler could feel his presence. Tyler wrapped his legs around Josh's waist as well and held onto him tighter. He felt so loved and protected there. They stayed like that for God knows how long, until Tyler stopped shaking and slowly unwrapped his arms and legs from Josh. Josh let go of him and Tyler felt cold. His face was hot though. Hot and red from embarrassment. Tears gathered to the corners of his eyes and he couldn't remember when he had felt this pathetic before. Josh's hands came up to touch Tyler's face gently, more gently than Tyler deserved. Tyler was even more embarrassed now and the tears fell to his cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, Josh, I'm sorry," he whimpered but Josh shook his head and wiped Tyler's tears away, replying in that soft, calming voice of his: "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"But you shouldn't have to--," Tyler started but Josh cut him off before he got any further: "I don't have to. I want to. Tyler, how many times does it take for me to tell you that you matter so much to me before you believe it."

"I'm sorry," Tyler repeated and looked down. Though Blurry wasn't speaking now, Tyler could remember that taunting voice saying: "They're all going to leave you."

"Tyler, everything is okay. Don't apologize anymore," Josh assured him and Tyler looked back up at him, their eyes meeting in the dark. Tyler couldn't help but shiver at the protective look in Josh's eyes. He really wanted to believe that Blurry was wrong. He wanted to paint rose red dreams about Josh saving him and caring about him. But he was scared. Scared that Blurry was right once more and Josh would leave him one day. Or Blurry would hurt Josh. Tyler's throat felt tight even at the thought of Josh getting hurt. Especially by his hand. 

"Josh," he said quietly: "Why are you so nice to me?" 

Josh huffed out a soft laugh that made Tyler's heart flutter. The drummer grinned widely and ran a hand through Tyler's short hair as he spoke: "Because I care about you. Because I enjoy your company. Because I love you a lot."

"L-Love?" Tyler squeaked and Josh patted his arm reassuringly: "It's chill, don't worry. You can interpret it the way you want."

Josh. Josh loved him. And said that it was up to Tyler to decide what he wanted it to mean. Tyler could just say that he wanted to be Josh' friend and he knew that Josh would never pressure him about it again. But Josh loved him. Love, loved him. And it made Tyler's skin tingle, but not in a bad way. He almost smiled, but then everything stopped. 

"You really think he loves you, huh?" Came Blurry's voice and Tyler's heart skipped a beat, then two. He felt like Blurry was right behind him, weighing him down like wet clothing. Blurry's voice was like poison, spreading all over Tyler's body, when he spoke again: "Pathetic. He pities you, Tyler. He pities you. He doesn't love you. Nobody could ever love someone as mentally fucked up as you."

Tyler let out a shuddering breath and pushed Josh's hands away from his face.


	6. loves me not (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Self-hatred, Mentions of Anxiety and Self-harm]

"You don't," He whispered, shaking his head. A hurt look flashed across Josh's face but he wiped it off and said: "What do you mean, I don't?" 

"You don't love me, you can't. You can't love me. I'm too screwed up for that sort of thing," Tyler said, looking away from Josh. Blurry was right, once again. There was no way Josh could love him. But Josh didn't give in: "How about I decide that for myself?" 

"Josh, please," Tyler whimpered, looking up and wiping tears away from his eyes: "Don't pity me. Just--Just please do anything else but pity me. Just go away or something. I'm okay now."

"Tyler, I'm not pitying you. I wouldn't lie," Josh replied sternly: "I wouldn't lie about something like that."

"Okay. Let's say you love me then," Tyler said, his tone challenging and pleading all at the same time, begging for Josh to just stop giving him false hope: "Let's say you love me. But do you love my anxiety? My nightmares? Can you love my panic attacks and every single ugly scar on my body?," he pointed to his scratched up arms: "Can you love this? Can you really, Josh? Can you? No, no, you can't, you can't because nobody can, Josh! Not even I can, so how the hell could yo--!" 

Tyler's speech was cut off by a pair of soft lips pressing against his own, slightly chapped ones. Tyler froze. Josh was kissing him. After all that screaming, Josh was still kissing him. Tyler didn't know what to do. Josh was in no way forceful. He didn't hold onto Tyler, so that the smaller man could get away any second he needed to. Tyler's heart felt warm and slowly, hesitantly, he began to kiss back, holding onto Josh's shoulders lightly. Josh pressed himself just slightly closer to Tyler and it was perfect. Tyler parted his lips a bit and Josh let out a small laugh into the kiss. Tyler never wanted to stop, though they both had to pull back for breath for a moment, their foreheads pressed together as they caught their breath. 

"Believe me, Tyler," Josh whispered and Tyler nodded without even realizing it and breathed out: "Yes."

Josh kissed him again and this time it was, if possible, even better than the last time. Josh pushed him down to the bed, gently, like he was made of porcelain and kept kissing him so gently and carefully that Tyler was sure his heart would explode. 

But of course, every good moment has to end, especially in Tyler's life. Because Blurry had found a new approach. His dark voice echoed in Tyler's head when he whispered: "It's a sin, Tyler. This is a sin. Are you going to let Josh defile you because he "loves" you? He just wants to taint you even further... Or maybe you're so afraid of hell you're trying to pull him down there with you. Maybe you're the one doing the defiling."


	7. the sin of loving someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Slight religious talk, Slight panic attack, Slight non-consensual touching (very slight, but I thought I'd mention it in case it could trigger someone)]

Tyler's breath caught in his throat and he pushed Josh away a bit. He took a few deep breaths and panted: "This is wrong. This is a sin."

"No, it's not," Josh hushed him gently and kissed him again. Tyler let him, but Blurry kept whispering in the back of his head and he couldn't forget. Josh's lips moved down to his neck just as Blurry taunted: "Joshie isn't as pure as you thought and now you've ruined him completely."

"Josh--Josh, stop!" Tyler panicked and anxiously started to push Josh away: "Stop!" 

Josh froze and then got up and away from Tyler like he had burned him. Tyler caught his breath and sat up, wrapping his arms around himself. He buried his head in his knees and mumbled: "I'm sorry. Please forgive me, but I can't--" 

"Tyler, hey, it's alright," Josh said calmly and sat down at the edge of the bed, gently placing his hand on Tyler's arm. Tyler drew in a shaky breath, but didn't flinch away. He wanted to explain, but what would he say? 'Yeah, Josh, I would've wanted it but I don't want to defile you because a creepy fucking voice in my head told me that I was selfishly trying to drag you to hell with me'? No, of course he couldn't say that. Instead he stayed silent and leaned into Josh's touch to let him know that it was alright. 

"Tyler, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I should've never tried to take it so far. I just got excited because you actually kissed me back and--" Josh stammered, but Tyler cut him off: "It's not anything you did. I'm just fucked up."

"Tell him about me, Tyler," Blurry taunted: "I daaaare youu."

Tyler twitched and bit his lip but did his best to ignore the voice. He could feel Josh's eyes on him and he looked up. He hesitated for a moment before asking: "This is really unfair and embarrassing for me to ask but, uh, could you stay? I mean, here, for the night, just sleep here with me?" 

"Of course," Josh smiled at him: "There's nothing unfair or embarrassing about asking that. Of course I'll stay."

Tyler smiled thankfully, glad that Josh didn't want to continue the conversation. He let Josh crawl into bed with him and cuddled up to him. 

"I'm writing a new song. Or many actually, but I'm mainly working on one," he whispered, knowing that Josh loved to hear about his writing process. Josh hummed softly and asked: "Tell me."

"I'm thinking about calling it Doubt," Tyler started, thinking for a moment: "It's inspired by--by my anxiety."

"Really Tyler?" Blurry groaned: "That's a half-assed explanation if I've ever heard one." Tyler mentally told him to shut up. Josh nodded against him and asked if he could sing it for him. Tyler hesitated. 

"Scared of my own image,   
Scared of my own im  
ma  
tu  
ri  
ty."


	8. the black paint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Slight panic attack, body control]

The next morning, Tyler did not wake up in the bed with Josh. Instead he woke up on the bathroom floor with a pounding headache and no memory of how he had got there. He hadn't drunk anything for sure the night before. Then it dawned to him. Blurry's doing. 

Only then did Tyler look down at himself and let out a sharp breath. His hands were stained in black paint and he felt it drying on his neck as well. What the hell was this? Tyler didn't even notice that he was screaming until a very disheveled Josh stepped inside.

"Tyler?"

"How are you going to explain this, huh?" Blurry chuckled and Tyler swallowed thickly, looking up at Josh who looked confused. Tyler tried to find an explanation before it dawned to him. 

"Well, I-I-I thought of this, um, kind of a theme for our new album. It sounds pretty stupid but I came up with this character," he started and gestured to himself: "Called Blurry. He's like--Umh, like all of my insecurities and depression come to life, I guess. Uh, it's dumb."

"No, I don't think that's dumb at all, but that still doesn't explain why you were screaming," Josh said, examining Tyler's face worriedly. 

"Trying to scare you," Tyler replied quickly and managed to grin quite convincingly: "Sorry." He clenched his hands into fists to stop them from shaking. He couldn't blow his cover now that he had made up such a convincing lie. 

"That you did," Josh replied and smiled a bit, walking up to him, asking: "So, why the black paint?" 

"It's just an idea I had, o-of what Blurry would look like I guess. Me, but--Not me," Tyler stammered out. He didn't even know they had black paint or how the hell Blurry had got his hands on it. 

"I had the idea and I just couldn't let it run away so I had to try," He added and stood up from the floor. Blurry scoffed and Tyler shivered. Making Blurry angry wasn't probably the best desicion he had ever made. Josh nodded and leaned on the sink. 

"So, what about him then? Is he, uh, going to be a character who appears in songs and such?" Josh asked and Tyler replied, trying to sound convincing: "Yeah, so I thought. I write a lot about sadness and I guess I just wanted something to represent that."

"That sounds really cool to me," Josh grinned and Tyler tried to smile back as Josh kept talking: "Does he like, have his own personality?"

"He's just a thing that whispers in my ear and makes me do things and takes over when I'm too weak to resist him. I could never beat him even if I tried, I'm too pathetic for that," Tyler said and clapped a hand over his mouth. He hadn't said that last part. Blurry was speaking for him again, something that hadn't happened in years. Tyler felt faint and shook his head, leaning against the wall. No, no, he couldn't let Blurry take over now. 

"Tyler, what are you saying? You're not pathetic," Josh scolded and walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Tyler's knees buckled and he tried to force himself to stay upright and conscious. If he let Blurry take control now, God knows what he would do to Josh. 

It was strange, the whole "taking over" thing. Sometimes Tyler would be conscious and find himself moving without his permission and saying things he hadn't meant to say. And sometimes he would faint and wake up somewhere he had no idea he had walked to. 

"Give in, Tyler," Blurry's voice echoed, accompanied by a loud ringing sound in his ears: "I just want to play with Josh for a bit."

Tyler shook his head again. Josh was calling his name. Tyler tried to answer but all he managed to say was the drummer's name. Not now. He couldn't give in. Still, he slowly felt himself slipping into unconsciousness and then, like a hit to the back of his head, he was knocked out cold.


	9. blurry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Possession (kind of), Mentions of Violence and Slight sexual talk]

Breathing. In and out. In and out. That's it. He opened his eyes and blinked to get used to the light. The first thing he saw was Josh. Tyler's little friend Joshua Dun, who looked very concerned. 

"Tyler, hey, hey look at me. Are you okay?" The pink haired man was questioning him: "What was that about?" Blurry laughed. It felt great to laugh. It was completely different now that he had this body all to himself. A small part of him wanted to freak the drummer out completely and tell him that he was no made-up character, but decided against it, for now. 

"Oh, I got you good didn't I?" He said in Tyler's voice. The words felt foreing now that he was actually speaking them out loud. Josh's face went white as a sheet and he struggled to speak for a moment: "You--what--?" 

"Boo. Scared ya," Blurry grinned widely: "Getting into character and stuff."

"Tyler! That was not funny at all. I thought you seriously just fainted," Josh snapped and Blurry raised his hands up protectively: "Sorry, sorry."

"God, Tyler," Josh mumbled and Blurry smirked: "Close, but nah, just call me Blurry."

"Oh, haha," Josh said sarcastically and stood up, holding out a hand to help up the person he thought was his friend. Blurry took his hand and Josh pulled him up. Okay, standing. Steady your weight on your legs. Okay, good. Blurry could handle standing now, but the night before as he had taken over to play his little trick on Tyler, he had fallen over at least three times. Now, he was standing quite steadily and smiling at Josh. 

"You're acting really weird," Josh informed him and Blurry stepped closer, grinning up at the other man, who looked taken aback by the sudden closeness, and said: "I'm just getting into character, Joshie."

He examined Josh's face that was positively turning a shade of pink. He chuckled and took a step back, wondering how Josh would react if he just wrapped his hands around his throat and squeezed. He shook his head at himself. He would want to see Josh's face when he found out that Tyler had slit his wrists. Because that would happen one way or another, one day, because Tyler was weak. And Josh needed to be alive to see that. Still, that wouldn't stop him from freaking Josh out and making everything as difficult and awkward for Tyler as he could. He turned back to Josh and raised a hand to his face, smearing some of the still-drying black paint on his cheek. 

"Did I tell you that the black paint is metaphor for sin and filth?" He asked, speaking quietly and staring up at Josh, who shook his head. Blurry smiled: "Well, it is. Could you imagine if every time you committed a sin, it would leave a black spot?" 

"Someone is feeling poetic, huh?" Josh chuckled, a bit breathlessly and Blurry shushed him, leaning closer to whisper in his ear: "I bet you would like to cover my entire body in all black, Josh. But I see right through you. I know what you want from me."

He stepped back and Josh was staring at him, stunned, unable to say anything. Blurry crowded his personal space again, this time so close their lips were nearly touching when he spoke:"You didn't want to stop last night, though I told you to. Because you wanted to own me."

Josh parted his lips and let out a sharp breath. Blurry blinked his eyes open, to see that Josh's were closed. Fucking pathetic. He chuckled softly and whispered: "Sinner."

Then he shoved Josh backwards into the wall by the door, not too hard, but hard enough for him to grunt as his back made contact with the wall. Blurry smirked at the sound, briefly wondering what kind of sounds the man would make if he held a knife up to his throat. Josh opened his eyes and stared at him, before quietly whispering: "Tyler?" 

Blurry leaned against the sink grinned at him: "Come here and make me fear God." He spread his arms as an invitation. Josh let out a sound that was somewhere between a squeak and a growl and walked over to him, placing his hands on his hips. Blurry raised an eyebrow at him and Josh shook his head with a small chuckle: "What has gotten into you?" 

"Good question," Blurry replied, laughing inwardly. What indeed? He closed his eyes, leaning forward. This was the best moment to let Tyler step forward again and let his anxiety take care of the rest, with a few well-chosen words from Blurry. 

'You're up, Tyler.'


	10. make up your mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Slight non-consensual touch, slight religious talk and use of homophobic slurs]

Tyler gasped and his eyes snapped open. What the hell had Blurry done? He didn't have much time to think about it, because a pair of lips crashed against his own. 

For a moment he freaked out at what the hell was happening, but the saw that it was Josh. He let the kiss happen and when Josh pulled back he looked up at him properly, his face reddening. 

"Josh, what--?" He asked quietly, feeling Josh's hands on his hips. He was breathing heavily, half from the kissing and half from panic at what Blurry had done. 

"Oh, Tyler, I think I might've led him on just a bit," Blurry said in a sing-song voice: "But you want to commit sin with him, don't you? Disgusting."

Tyler winced, wishing he could know what Blurry had said to Josh. Josh. Josh was kissing his jaw now and Tyler's skin was tingling, but this time it wasn't in a good way. He didn't want it like this, with Blurry whispering in his ear. Looking like Blurry. No, he couldn't. Anxiety was clouding his mind and he pushed Josh back. 

"I can't," He said breathlessly, leaning against the sink heavily. Josh was panting and looked at him for a long moment before saying: "You really need to make up your mind, Tyler. Because I can't either."

"Josh," Tyler said in a pleading tone but Josh raised his hand as a sing for him to stop and spoke: "Tyler, I mean it. You need to stop. Don't lead me on. Look, you're obviously having a weird day so I'm just going to give you some space, okay?" 

"No, Josh, please I don't need space," Tyler begged but Josh was already out the door and called after himself: "Well, I do. Desperately."

Tyler watched him go and let himself slide down to the floor, covering his face with his painted hands. What the hell was this? His life was such a huge mess. He let out a sniffle. He didn't know what he wanted. He couldn't know. He was terrified of dragging Josh into this, this sin or whatever the hell it was and Blurry was making it no easier. 

"Pathetic," Blurry spat at him, his tone venomous: "Pathetic little fag, Tyler."

"Stop," Tyler pleaded and sniffled again. Blurry didn't listen and kept speaking: "You want Joshua all to yourself, selfishly, but you're so afraid of defying a God that doesn't exist that you hurt him so..."

"I'm not afraid--," Tyler whispered and Blurry laughed loudly: "You're not? Psh. You were raised to fear Him and you do. Even when I'm telling you that Hell isn't real, you still fear it and you believe because you are fucking pathetic."


	11. the scissors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Possession/Body Control]

Tyler stood up and he wasn't doing that. Blurry was controlling him and this time he was conscious. It hadn't happened many times in his life, but whenever it did it was the most terrifying thing. Tyler tried to struggle, but he was so tired he couldn't do anything but watch as his hands grabbed a pair of nail-clipping scissors from a small hook from the wall and placed them on his wrist. 

"Do everyone a favor and end it," Blurry hissed and forced him to press the blade to his skin. Tyler watched in horror and screamed inwardly. He tried to get them back in control but he couldn't. 

"End it. End it," Blurry repeated and then suddenly he was in control of his own body again. But instead of dropping the scissors like a normal person, he kept them there, looking down at them. 

"Josh hates you now," Blurry told him: "He doesn't want anything but your body and you fail to give that to him because of me. You could make it all go away."

He could. His hand shook as he pressed the blade against his skin just a bit harder. No more Blurry. No more being afraid.


	12. save me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of suicide, violence, murder and self-harm]

He didn't notice steps nearing, until the door was pulled open and Josh's voice filled the room: "Hey Tyler. I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry fo--" his eyes stopped at Tyler, who was still holding the scissors to his wrist. In the matter of a second, Josh had crossed the distance between them, wrenched the scissors out of Tyler's hand and thrown them across the room. He grabbed Tyler's wrists and pulled him close. 

"Don't you dare. Don't ever again in your life even think about that, Tyler Joseph," He grit out and Tyler stared up at him, before bursting into tears and falling into Josh's arms. Josh let go if his wrists and caught him, bringing them both down to the floor. 

"I just wanted it to end," Tyler sobbed: "I just want the voice to shut up."

Josh ran a hand through his hair and asked what voice he was talking about. Once again, Tyler considered spilling it all, but couldn't. Instead he just replied: "The voice that tells me I'm not good enough. That everyone hates me."

"Tyler--" Josh said, his tone scolding, but Tyler cut him off: "I'm not normal, Josh. I'm a fucking weirdo. I have problems, so much more of them than you think."

Josh was slightly taken aback by the fact that Tyler had just cursed, which was something he never did. But his astonishment didn't last for long and he replied: "None of those things matter to me, Tyler. I could never hate you."

"I can never give you what you want. I can't--Not with this voice in my head telling me that I'm selfish and a sinner for trying to--I don't know--drag you down with me, screw you up," Tyler sobbed, pulling back from Josh' embrace and looking into his eyes:" I don't want to screw you up, Josh, because you're so good. You're so good and kind and I'm--Disgusting. Filthy."

"Tyler, stop it," Josh told him strictly: "Who the hell has made you believe those things about yourself?"

'Blurry' Tyler wanted to say. He wanted to shout that it was Blurry who had screwed him up. It was Blurry who had fucked his life up since day one. 

"But is it really me though, Tyler?" Blurry hissed: "Did I really screw up your life? Or was it you? I wouldn't even be here if you weren't such a weak person. So weak, easy to snap in half. You could get rid of me, if you weren't so damn fragile. I think that in a fucked up way, you want me here. You need me, Tyler, because with me you have someone else to blame. But in reality it's all you."

Tyler shook his head and buried his face into Josh's shirt, trying to breathe. He tried not to listen, but Blurry wasn't done yet: "I could tie a noose. I could get you standing on a chair and put your head through that noose. But the choice to jump would be at your hands. Because where's the fun in killing you? Then this would be over. No, no, I want to see you do it. And you would. You would jump because you, poor little thing, obey everything I say. And because you're pathetic enough to consider suicide. Because you don't want to be strong, Tyler."

Tyler whimpered and clung onto Josh. Blurry laughed in a bitter sort if way: "Josh can't save you. Because I could take you over right now and choke him to death. But maybe I'll get you to do that too. How would that be, huh? I bet it would feel good. Your hands around his neck, squeezing and just watching. The life. Dissappear. From. His. Eyes."

"No, no, no," Tyler whimpered, clinging onto Josh even harder. Josh was rubbing his back soothingly and Blurry let out a sound of disgust. Tyler was a mess in Josh's arms and Blurry decided that his work here was done. It was always so good to go away for a while and let Tyler believe that he was gone and then come back to taunt him. Before stepping back though, he said one last thing: "Don't think that this was the last time I'm taking you over. Having the body all to myself was nice and toying with Joshie here... Hmm. Maybe next time we'll play more."

The tone of Blurry's voice made Tyler's skin feel filthy. That's when he remembered the paint. 

"Josh," he said quietly. Josh hummed in reply, stroking his hair gently. It felt nice, now that Blurry was being quiet. Tyler almost dozed off and forgot what he had been about to say, but snapped awake again after remembering: "I really need to wash this paint off."

It was giving him major anxiety and he just needed to get rid of it right now. Josh hesitantly let go if him and helped him up, standing as well. He looked at Tyler for a moment, before walking past him and taking the scissors from the floor. Then he wordlessly pushed the shower curtain aside and took the shaver with him as well. Tyler didn't protest. He understood. Josh flashed him an apologetic look and said: "Just--You know I don't want to lose you, right?"

"I know, Josh," Tyler replied quietly. They stood there in silence for a long moment, before Josh crossed the distance between them and kissed Tyler on the forehead, before turning on his heel and walking out with a: "Have a good shower. Yell if you need anything."

Tyler almost said 'you', but kept his mouth shut. It would be unfair towards Josh, because he was too shaken up to probably even let Josh kiss him and knowing Blurry, he would interrupt at the worst possible moment anyway. Now though, Tyler's head was pleasantly empty and quiet. It was rare, but he loved every second.


	13. nothing and everything is different now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of previous suicidal thoughts, self-harm and suicide attempt]

He took off his clothes quickly and went into the shower, pulling the curtain in front of him. He briefly considered locking the door, but what for? Josh wouldn't come in and he would just freak out if Tyler suddenly locked the door and locked doors couldn't keep Blurry out. He turned on the water and stepped underneath the warm spray. He wondered when this had gotten so bad. When he had been a child, Blurry hadn't visited him often, but during his teenage years it had been almost as hellish as it was now. He remembered how Blurry wouldn't let him sleep and how he basically overdosed on melatonin each night to get a few hours of sleep. He remembered standing on a roof more than once, thinking about jumping and just ending it all. He shivered. Those were bad memories. When he had been 17, Blurry had properly taken control of him while he had been conscious for the first time. He remembered the terrifying feeling of his body moving against his own orders. Of course, Blurry had spoken for him many times before or made him do small things against his will, but never had he controlled his entire body while he was conscious as well. Often, even back then, he had fainted and found himself in strange places after, but never like this. He remembered how Blurry had lead him to the window of his room and he hadn't been able to resist. It was three stories high up and Tyler had basically been hanging out of the window, so close to falling and unable to control his body. Then his mother had walked in and pulled him away from the window and screamed at him. And Tyler had been in control again and Blurry had laughed. Blurry always laughed. 

Tyler shook his head at the terrible memories and started scrubbing away the paint from his neck and hands. He started breathing heavily, panicking when he couldn't get it off at first. He scrubbed frantically at it, with a sponge and soap, until his skin was red and raw, but the paint was gone. Tyler stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel, before walking out.


	14. loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: none, a pretty happy chapter for once]

Much to his surprise, Josh was waiting for him there and handed him a set of clean, comfortable clothes. A t-shirt, boxers and a pair of shorts that were probably Josh's. The drummer turned away politely when Tyler dressed himself and then beckoned him closer. Tyler complied and sat on the bed with Josh. Josh didn't say anything when he started examining the scratches Tyler had made on himself the night before during his nightmare. The scratches were surprisingly deep, but not something that wouldn't fade in time. Josh put lotion on them and wrapped an arm around Tyler's shoulders. Tyler leaned into him. They were quiet. Everything was quiet. It was good. 

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" Josh asked him carefully. Tyler shrugged and whispered: "You have to whisper or you'll disturb the quiet."

"Do you want to watch a movie or something?" Josh whispered this time, earning a small giggle from Tyler. Josh grinned, glad that he could make Tyler laugh after something like that. Tyler stayed quiet for a moment before answering quietly: "Would it be okay if we just stayed here? Just--We could talk and--I don't know. I'd like to be with you."

"You'd like to be with me, hm?" Josh teased and Tyler went red, looking away. Josh feared that he had crossed the line again and apologized. Tyler looked back up at him and very carefully and quietly said: "No, I think--I think I really would, Josh. If things were different."

"Different how?" Josh asked him curiously. Tyler shrugged: "My problems are bigger than you think."

"Oh, to hell with that, Ty. Everyone has problems. Your family has problems. Your friends have a lot of problems. I think I can live with that," Josh replied and Tyler stared up at him for a long moment: "I don't ever want you to get hurt. I don't want to drag you into this, especially since you won't get much out of this."

M̶y̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶I̶,̶ ̶w̶e̶ ̶g̶o̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶o̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶l̶e̶m̶s̶ ̶

"I'll get you," Josh said seriously, leaning closer cautiously: "And I will be happy with anything you're willing to give me, be that just kissing or not even that."

Tyler blinked, his eyes closing slowly as Josh leaned closer. They were only inches apart now and Tyler whispered: "You can't save me, Josh."

"Let me try," Josh whispered back and Tyler couldn't help but nod, even though he wasn't sure if Josh's eyes were open. He couldn't bring himself to speak, because he felt like he was choking on words he couldn't say, so instead he just closed the distance between their lips. He knew that he couldn't let himself believe that Josh could save him from Blurry and himself, but hell, he wanted to. And Blurry wasn't here now. So Tyler kissed Josh and felt like he was in Heaven and just for a few minutes he let himself believe that Josh was his Knight in shining armor, who could save him. And that had to be enough for now. 

C̶a̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶v̶y̶d̶i̶r̶t̶y̶s̶o̶u̶l̶?̶ ̶


	15. old new tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Body horror, gore, hallucinations]

Josh kissed him back and yes, it was definitely enough. Tyler was the first to pull back for breath. He shifted on the bed, away from Josh, just a little bit to still be close to him but also show that he needed a break. Josh respected that and smiled at him. Tyler smiled back. 

"Will you let me try to save you?" Josh asked and Tyler was at loss of words. Josh seemed so determined, but Tyler knew that there was only so much he could do. Blurry wouldn't leave him with a few kisses and kind words. He looked down and shrugged. Josh placed his hand on Tyler's knee gently and joked: "I won't let Blurry get you."

Tyler's breath hitched and he flinched away from Josh, shaking his head wordlessly. The drummer looked worried and asked: "Hey, what was that about? Dumb joke?" 

"I--No, it's nothing. I just need some, uh, fresh air!" Tyler squeaked and stood up, leaving the room without another word. He didn't look back as he basically sprinted through the living room and out the front door. He slammed the door after himself and leaned against it, breathing in the cold morning air. His breath came out in short anxious puffs and his hands were shaking again. He fisted them in his hair and slid down the door, into a sitting position. He felt sick to his stomach. The way Josh had said Blurry's name so casually made Tyler's skin crawl. He gagged and he had to get on his hands and knees to throw up. 

What came out though, was disgusting thick black goo, almost like... Paint. It felt like it would never stop, but eventually it did and Tyler wiped his mouth on his arm, looking at the black liquid on the grass by the door in horror. 

"What the--What the fuck?" He whispered to himself, trying to spit all of it out, shaking all over. Tears were blurring his vision and he rubbed at his eyes. And when he looked at the grass again, it was clean. There was no trace of the black goo anywhere. Tyler looked at his arm and there was nothing but a thin trail of spit on it. He spat on the ground at it was clear. What the hell was happening to him? He leaned against the door again and covered his ears with his hands. 

"Stop it, please stop it," He whispered, even though nobody was speaking. He knew that this had to be Blurry's doing. He sat there for a moment, until he stopped trembling. He removed his hands from his ears and when he looked at them, there was blood all over them. He let out a terrified wail and again, in the blink of an eye, the blood was gone. 

Blurry hadn't done this sort of thing since Tyler had been a child and it was even more terrifying than he remembered. 

"I'm begging you, stop it," Tyler begged silently. He felt Blurry's presence again but the shadow was being terrifyingly quiet. It was never good when Blurry was quiet for a long time. Tyler looked up at the trees that lined up the sidewalk and suddenly they were covered in hanged bodies. Tyler closed his eyes, but Blurry wasn't giving up that easily. Pictures of bloody corpses and dead animals flashed across his mind and he snapped his eyes open. He wanted to scream or just die, either one would be fine, the second opinion being the more permanent one. 

"Maybe you should've just slit your wrists, Tyler, because I'm just beginning to have fun," Blurry laughed and then everything was normal and quiet again. Tyler breathed heavily and wiped tears away from his eyes. Everything was like it should be. But it wouldn't be that for long. Tyler didn't know what to do, because he couldn't tell Josh. What would he say? 'Hey, Josh, don't be worried if I start screaming and crying randomly. It's just this demonic presence in my head making me see dead bodies everywhere.' No. And could he even see Josh? What if Blurry twisted him into something terrible?

"What do you want? Please--" He whispered to himself and then Blurry's presence was wrapping itself around him again and he was speaking: "I want many things Tyler, but all in good time. There is nothing you can give me that I don't have already. Besides watching you suffer is pretty nice at the moment. I'll lay back for a moment until I'm ready to spend some quality time with Joshua again." The unnerving chuckle at the end of the sentence made Tyler feel sick all over again. 

"Blurry, don't--" Tyler started but the shadow was gone again, leaving Tyler in silence.


	16. die for you, live for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Slight gore, mentions of bugs, hallucinations, mentions of suicide]

Eventually, Tyler collected himself and went back inside. He apologized to Josh and agreed to watch a movie with him. He avoided looking at the other man as much as he could, so that Blurry couldn't turn him into something terrifying in Tyler's head. He didn't really pay attention when Josh picked a movie for them and they curled up on the couch. Nothing had happened so far, but Tyler kept seeing a black figure walking around the room out of the corner of his eye. Blurry. The shadow. He tried to ignore it but it was difficult. 

And then out of nowhere the movie they'd been watching got bloody and Tyler was sure that the family friendly comedy wouldn't have heads flying around. He flinched at an exceptionally gruesome scene and Josh turned to look at him, asking: "Are you okay?" To Josh, the screen was showing the main stars of the movie running in the rain and laughing. 

"Y-Yeah!" Tyler replied quickly: "Just, um, cold. Yeah, I'm cold."

"Want me to get you a blanket?" Josh asked, but Tyler shook his head, leaning on his shoulder, focusing on staring at his neck instead of the screen. He sighed deeply: "I'm having a weird day."

"Weird how?" Josh asked and Tyler shrugged: "Just weird. Bad weird. I feel really out of place."

If only Josh knew, Tyler thought. He watched when a black painted hand wrapped itself around Josh's neck, trying to tell himself that it was just one of Blurry's tricks. Still he had to look away and just listen to Josh talking: "Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?"

Tyler looked at the floor that had black liquid and blood all over it. He blinked at it was replaced by worms and spiders. He didn't dare to look back at Josh in case Blurry's hand was still there, just replied quietly: "I don't think so."

He started humming mindlessly and tapping his fingers against his knee, trying to ignore the visions of bugs climbing all over him. He thought of all the lyrics that had been crossing his mind these past days and started to sing quietly: 

"But I know a thing or two about pain and darkness,  
If it wasn't for this music I don't know how well I would've fought this."

And it was true. Because music let him cryptically and artistically talk about what he was going through. About Blurry. He had often sang about Blurry, just never as clearly as he was planning in the new album. Josh turned to look at him again and asked: "New song?" 

"Yeah. Don't know what to call it yet," Tyler replied. Josh asked if he had anymore words to it and Tyler answered: "I have bits and pieces here and there to make an entire album. I just need to stop being a mess and put the pieces together."

"You're not a mess, Tyler. You're just having a rough time right now," Josh said, but it wasn't helping. Tyler chuckled though it wasn't funny and replied: "You don't know half of it Josh."

He watched centipedes and cockroaches run across his thigh. He was a mess in the true sense of the word. He sighed and started singing words for another song:

"I know it's hard sometimes  
Yeah, I think about the end just way too much,   
But it's fun to fantasize."

Josh looked down and Tyler knew that the words were difficult for him to hear, but Tyler couldn't help that that was exactly how he was feeling. He wanted to die and that was the sad truth. He told fans constantly that suicide wasn't the answer and really, for normal people with normal depression it wasn't. But Blurry was a different story. Ah, he was making excuses again. Excuses for being so weak. Nice going, Tyler, he told himself. 

"There's more to it," he told Josh and cleared his throat:

"I'd die for you  
That's easy to say  
We have a list of people that we would take  
A bullet for them  
A bullet for you  
A bullet for everybody in this room  
But I don't seem to see many bullets coming through.  
And that's as far I've got. I would though, Josh. Die for you. In a heart beat."

"Yeah," Josh said quietly, looking at Tyler seriously: "I don't doubt that, but would you live? Would you live for me if I asked you to?" 

"I don't know," Tyler answered truthfully. 

I̶'̶d̶ ̶l̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶  
A̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶  
E̶v̶e̶n̶ ̶h̶a̶r̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶a̶y̶ ̶  
W̶h̶e̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶t̶r̶u̶e̶


	17. scarlet on the white floor, cries in the white noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Violence, Choking, Death, Nightmare, Sexual/Kink talk, but in a really creepy way]

The day felt like it lasted forever. Tyler constantly flinched and jumped at the sudden visions and tried to seem like everything was okay. Blurry didn't speak at all and it was unnerving. Tyler sat down to write down some words but his head felt heavy and his hand was shaky. 

He decided to go to sleep at 9 PM. Alone. He let Josh kiss him on the cheek. Not on the lips, that was too close. He pulled away from Josh's hug and told him that he needed to be alone. He just really needed to be alone. So he went into his room where Josh had slept with him last night. The room was a mess. There was a single black tie lying over a pile of clothing and Tyler briefly considered hanging himself with it, but decided to live another day in this hell. For Josh. Because Josh tried really hard. 

He fell into his messy bed, groaning into his pillow and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately. 

When he opened his eyes again he found himself face to face with Blurry in that same white room as the night before. He stumbled backwards when he met Blurry's unsettling red gaze. Blurry grinned at him and took a step closer. 

"Was today fun, hm? I had fun," The red eyed of the two spoke. Tyler shook his head and Blurry laughed: "I wonder, I wonder how should I play with you next?" 

"How about leaving me the hell alone?" Tyler grit out. He was just so fed up with today that he couldn't bring himself to stay quiet. Blurry's grin faltered and he squinted his eyes at Tyler. Then suddenly, faster than lightning, he was on Tyler, pushing him against the wall a hand around his throat. Tyler let out a terrified gasp as his air supply was completely cut off. Blurry stared up at him and Tyler had never imagined that his own face could twist into something so terrifyingly angry. 

"So you think you can just talk to me like that, huh? You think that's how it goes?" Blurry questioned him, his voice higher than usually as he spat through his teeth. Tyler tried to pry his fingers away from his throat, but Blurry's grip was stronger than Tyler's could ever be. Tyler felt faint. He couldn't get any air into his lungs. 

"Don't forget that I could kill you and your precious little drummer in a second, Tyler. I am above you, you pathetic piece of human garbage," Blurry hissed. Tyler's eyes rolled back and he was sure that this was it, when Blurry suddenly let go of his throat and he drew in a long breath before starting to cough like crazy. Blurry let him cough, holding him in an upright position against the wall. When Tyler finally stopped coughing, Blurry pressed a knife to his throat. Tyler had no idea where it had come from but it was sharp. 

"Don't you mess with me," Blurry said, his tone venomous. He pressed the blade against his skin harder and Tyler caught his breath. Blurry snarled at him: "Say you're sorry."

Tyler stayed silent. Blurry's eye twitched and in one swift motion he had left a deep cut on Tyler's arm. Tyler wailed in agony, but Blurry didn't stop there. He kneed Tyler in the stomach and when he doubled over, he brought his knee up to kick him in the jaw. Then he punched Tyler in the face as hard as he could. Tyler fell to the white floor, holding onto his arm where the painful cut was. He spat out blood and sobbed quietly. God, it hurt. 

Blurry crouched down next to him and grabbed a hold of his jaw, painfully forcing him to tilt his head upwards. He examined Tyler's face for a moment before he spat: "Say you're sorry before I cut out your tongue and pull out your teeth." He drug his nails into Tyler's jaw. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! No more, please!" Tyler wailed and Blurry smirked: "Weak."

He let go of Tyler and the man fell back onto the floor, crying. Blurry cleared his throat and his voice was calm and pleasant again: "That wasn't so difficult, was it? Now, I think we can talk like grown ups, hm? Oh, would you shut up, I barely scratched you. As I was saying, adult talk. When do you think I could play with Josh again? Last time was so fun. Maybe this time I'll introduce him to knife play."

"Leave him out of this," Tyler whispered and Blurry frowned: "Oh, so he's more vanilla? Hm. Maybe I'll start easy. Choking is pretty nice, wouldn't you agree?" 

"Stop!" Tyler whimpered and Blurry walked back over to him, pulling him up by his hair. Tyler let out a strangled sound and Blurry raised an eyebrow at him: "Or maybe I'll just leave the basic kinks aside and move straight to guns. And "accidentally" blow his fucking brains out, if he behaves as badly as you."

Tyler gasped as Blurry's grip on his hair tightened and the demonic version of him smiled, taking out the knife again: "I wouldn't even waste bullets on you though."

And then the knife pierced through Tyler's stomach and everything hurt.


	18. afraid of the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of Violence]

Tyler woke up to his own screaming and bounced up from the bed, a hand on his stomach. Nothing there. He stumbled to the light switch and turned on the lights. He walked to the mirror at the corner of his room and pulled off the sheet he had used to cover it when he hadn't even been able to look at himself through it. His eyes flashed red for a second and he shivered. Then he looked at his body. There was no bruises or wounds anywhere, aside from the scratches he had made on himself the night before. However his body ached like hell and not just from sleeping in a bad position. He felt more terrified than ever. For himself and Josh. 

I̶'̶m̶ ̶a̶ ̶g̶o̶n̶e̶r̶. 

Tyler tried to sleep but he was terrified all alone in the dark room. So at 4 AM he gave up and dragged himself to Josh's room. He opened the door quietly and walked up to Josh's bed.


	19. nightlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: none, just tooth-rotting fluff and very, very mild sexual content]

"Josh," He said quietly and the drummer stirred from his sleep, blinking his eyes open. He rubbed at his eyes and looked at the other man. His voice was scratchy from sleep when he whispered: "Tyler?" 

Then he seemed to understand that it was Tyler and bolted up to sit up on the bed and took Tyler's hands into his, staring up at him. He probably looked worried but it was hard to tell in the dark. Tyler felt small with Josh's hands over his. 

"Hey, are you alright? Something I can do?" Josh asked and Tyler had to bite his lip to not burst into tears. He nodded and pulled his hands free from Josh's hold, wrapping them around his neck. Josh wasn't wearing a shirt, but that didn't bother Tyler. He slid into Josh's lap and hugged him tightly. Naturally, Josh hugged him back, though the position must have been a bit awkward and bad for him. 

"There's many things you can do," Tyler said quietly and somehow that statement felt a lot dirtier than it should've, so he added: "Right now I'd be most comfortable with you hugging me."

"Of course," Josh replied, rubbing his back. Of course Josh would say that. Tyler sniffled into his shoulder and whispered: "I'm sorry I'm so heavy."

"Psh, you're not heavy. You're light as a feather," Josh replied and Tyler laughed a bit, which then turned into crying. Josh held him tighter. Tyler felt so incredibly guilty for basically taking advantage of Josh like this. 

"I don't know what to do, Josh," He sobbed softly. Josh replied immediately: "Start by letting me help."

"Yeah," Tyler said: "I really need your help Josh, because I've gotten myself into trouble and I don't know how to get out of it. I'm really scared."

"Who have you gotten yourself in trouble with?" Josh asked and Tyler whispered his reply: "The worst person to get in trouble with. Myself."

"You're going to be okay," Josh said sounding quite confident. Tyler shook his head: "I wouldn't be so sure."

They stayed there for a long time. Tyler wasn't sure how long, but Josh didn't complain. Not once. He held Tyler like he would break from the smallest touch and Tyler almost felt beautiful. 

He pulled away from the hug but stayed on Josh's lap, looking down at him, swallowing thickly, before speaking: "I think I would like it if you kissed me now."

Josh didn't need to be told twice. He leaned in and kissed Tyler so gently it made Tyler's heart do flips. He kissed Josh back and it was so feather-light and perfect. Like melted marshmallows or cotton candy. He stood up from Josh's lap and pulled him up as well. Josh followed him without questioning it.

"Push me down on the bed," Tyler whispered against Josh's lips and Josh pulled away for a second: "Are you sure? I don't want to give you more anxiety."

"I'm not sure about many things, Josh," Tyler replied: "And I don't think I'll be able to, uh, go far, not tonight. Definitely not tonight. But I'm sure about one thing and that is that I definitely want you on top of me."

He heard Josh draw in a sharp breath. He smiled a bit, pulling Josh closer by his shoulders. Josh put his hands on his hips and turned them around, carefully pushing Tyler down and climbing on top of him. Tyler looked up at him and whispered: "Kiss me, please."

And Josh did. Tyler sighed contentedly. Kissing Josh was like oxygen. It felt like being underwater for a long time and then coming up for breath. He parted his lips and let Josh kiss him harder, because he really needed that right now. Josh was the first to pull back to say: "Tell me when it's too much."

Tyler nodded frantically, pulling Josh back down to him. They kissed again and Josh chuckled against his lips before pulling away to kiss his jaw. 

"Don't mock me," Tyler said breathlessly. Josh laughed again and stopped kissing him to look at him in the eyes as he spoke: "I'm not mocking you. I just think you're so cute. No, no, I changed my mind. You're beautiful."

Tyler's face went red and he turned his head away. He wasn't beautiful. He was a mess and an ugly one at that. But, here, under Josh and his soft touches he could almost believe it. Almost. Josh's hands were still on his hips, pushing his shirt upwards a bit. Josh's lips were on his neck, just laying gentle kisses there, not marking him or biting and that was good. Josh's hands pushed further underneath his shirt. Under any other circumstances he might've been okay with that, but tonight it was getting too much. 

"Hey Josh," he said breathily, grabbing at his wrists gently: "I think that this is enough. I'm sorry but I don't want more now."

"Yeah, that's fine," Josh said pulling his hands away. Tyler couldn't see his face properly in the dark, but he could hear in his voice that he was smiling: "No need to apologize. We're doing this at your pace."

"Okay," Tyler nodded, smiling shyly. Josh got off him and laid down next to him. Tyler cuddled into him, sighing. This was good. And Blurry was quiet. Tyler wasn't sure if that was a good thing though. He must've been plotting something. But Tyler was too tired to care and he felt safe in Josh's arms. And so, there he drifted off.


	20. happiness always comes to an end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Use of homophobic slurs]

The next few days nothing too crazy happened. Tyler still had some visions and a few nightmares, but Blurry was quiet. Tyler spent his time writing or with Josh or writing with Josh. Soon he forgot his worries about Blurry and focused on writing happy songs. Because he felt happy. 

After three days of blissful quiet, Tyler and Josh were sitting on the living room floor, laughing and joking as they tried to get the songs together. Tyler was sitting cross-legged with an ukulele on his lap and Josh was laying on his back next to him. Tyler was trying his best to be serious but Josh was making him laugh. 

"Okay, okay, shut up!" Tyler giggled and punched Josh in the arm playfully before picking up his instrument: "I think I've got it."

"Oh, yes sing to me," Josh moaned jokingly and Tyler laughed, pushing his side. He took a deep breath and played a few notes before starting to sing. Josh looked up at him in admiration. 

"I need to know  
That when I fail you'll still be here  
'Cause if you stick around, I'll sing you pretty sounds  
And we'll make money selling your hair

I don't care what's in your hair  
I just wanna know what's on your mind  
I used to say I wanna die before I'm old  
But because of you I might think twice."

He stopped to look at Josh, who clapped, grinning widely, before covering his hair with his hands protectively and saying: "You don't get to sell my hair though."

"Aww, not even a little bit?" Tyler joked, putting the ukulele aside and crawling on top of his drummer: "Not even if I sing you pretty sounds?" 

"No," Josh pouted, trying not to laugh. Tyler kissed him quickly and got off him again. Josh made a disappointed sound, but didn't say anything. Tyler grinned at him. 

"Well, isn't that just so disgustingly adorable?" 

Tyler froze. Blurry. He swallowed thickly and tried to pretend like everything was okay, picking up the ukulele again: "O-Okay, so next one? Tear in my heart." He cleared his throat and began singing again. 

"The songs on the radio are okay  
But my taste in music is your face  
And it takes a song to come around  
To show you how

He's the tear in my heart,   
I'm alive.   
He's the tear in my heart,   
I'm on fire--"

"Are you really gonna sing it like that though?" Blurry cut him off: "Do you really want everyone to know that you're a little f-a-g?"

Tyler put the ukulele down and Josh raised an eyebrow at him, asking if he was alright. Tyler sighed: "We can't really do that, can we? The 'he' thing."  
Because as much as he hated to admit it, Blurry was right. Josh's expression fell, but then he smiled again. 

"Just turn the lyrics to 'she', it's not a big deal," Josh said and Tyler stared at him, surprised. Josh shrugged and added: "I get it. It's negative popularity and you're not ready yet. I'm not sure if I am either. We'll tell them when it's time. I mean, though we have liked each other for a long time, we haven't been together for long at all. We're in no rush to come out even if this does last."

"Yeah," Tyler breathed out and grinned widely. He heard Blurry sigh deeply, before he spoke: "Wow, I'm actually losing my grip here. You're happy. It's fucking disgusting."

'Yeah, I am happy. Josh is saving me,' Tyler thought to himself. He flinched when Blurry started laughing. And he kept laughing. Tyler held his head, because his ears were ringing. Blurry quieted down slowly and spoke again, sounding amused: "Oh, Tyler. Dear little sweet Tyler. Haven't I told you that you are so far beyond saving? And are you really even happy? Hm? Sorry to burst your pretty little bubble but you have created this sweet fragile halo of fucking fake happiness around yourself and I can break it in seconds."


	21. suicide days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Brief mention of suicide]

"Tyler, are you okay?" Josh interrupted. Tyler blinked his eyes open and looked up at the other man, trying to smile: "Yeah, I just got a migraine out of nowhere."

"I-I-I've got a migraine?" Blurry chuckled: "And on a Sunday of all days? What did you say about Sundays again, Tyler? Oh, yeah, now I remember. 'Sundays are my suicide days'. How about it? Feeling it today?" 

Tyler shook his head. Not this again. He had thought he was getting better. Josh was starting to look worried. He stood up and offered Tyler a hand to help him up. Tyler took it and stumbled into Josh as his legs nearly gave out underneath him. He felt faint. No, no this wouldn't happen now. Blurry couldn't take control now. Tyler was getting better, he couldn't lose all of his process now. He had to be getting better. 

"You're not," Blurry informed him: "I just let you believe you were. Don't worry, I don't plan playing with Josh today. Just worrying him a bit, because that's always fun to watch, right? Let's see if we can get you hospitalized."

Then there was a loud 'snap' sound in Tyler's head and he lost consciousness.


	22. out of breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Seizure (kind of, tyler stops breathing)]

Tyler went limp in Josh's arms. 

"Tyler?" Josh questioned, dragging him to the couch and laying him down. His eyes were closed and he looked paler than usually. His chest was rising and falling steadily and when Josh tested his pulse it was normal. Still fainting wasn't a good sign. Josh took a deep breath and decided to call the emergency number. A sudden migraine and fainting could possibly be dangerous. 

"911, what is your emergency?" A woman's voice answered quickly. Josh sat down on the floor, holding Tyler's hand in his as he spoke: "Yeah, uh, my b--my friend just fainted. He complained about getting a migraine out of nowhere and then lost consciousness soon after."

"Is he breathing?" Asked the operator and Josh replied that he had just checked and that Tyler's pulse was steady as well. Then stuff started happening. Tyler made a sound, like gasping for breath and Josh felt his heartbeat quicken on his wrist. He told that to the operator, who told him to check his breathing again. He wasn't breathing. The operator told him that he would send an ambulance their way and that Josh should start CPR. So, he did. 

He didn't have to keep going for long, until Tyler started coughing and gasping for breath. He sat up, his eyes wide and terrified as he looked at Josh. Josh tried to calm him down: "Hey, it's okay. I'm here and an ambulance is coming." 

"Josh--" Tyler stammered, staring up at him and grabbing onto his shirt in horror: "I think he's trying to kill me."

And then his eyes rolled back and he lost consciousness again. Who the hell was 'he', Josh wondered, but he didn't have much time to think about it because Tyler stopped breathing again. 

Josh kept giving him CPR until the paramedics arrived and let them take him to the ambulance, following close. They let him get in the ambulance as well. The ambulance took off and just as the paramedics turned their full attention to Tyler, he woke up again and started to breathe on his own. He tried to sit up, but he was pressed back down. Josh could see that he was starting to panic. 

"Josh," He gasped out, trying to push away the man that was currently holding him down: "Where's Josh? Josh! Josh, help me!" 

Josh hurried to his side despite being told not to move and took his hand in his, kneeling by the stretcher. Tyler stopped fighting immediately and looked at Josh, a terrified expression on his face as he whispered: "I couldn't breathe at all, Josh. I couldn't breathe."

His beautiful brown eyes filled with tears and Josh wiped them away gently, shushing him. He stroked the singer's hand with his thumb and whispered softly into his ear to get him to calm down.


	23. twisted game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Choking (not the kinky kind, sorry)]

Tyler's head was a mess. The events that had just unfolded had been the most terrifying in his entire life. To Josh it had looked like some sort of a seizure, but to Tyler it had been everything but that. He remembered losing consciousness and waking up in the same all-white room as he did in all of his nightmares. Except this time, he was laying on the floor and Blurry was on top him, a sick grin on his face. 

"Let's play a little game, Tyler," Blurry whispered, chuckling darkly. Tyler shook his head, trying to struggle, but his limbs felt heavy. Blurry placed his hands on Tyler's throat and smiled: "It's called 'Don't breathe'."

And then he pressed down. Tyler gasped for breath but couldn't get any. He tried to fight against Blurry, scratching his arms and trying to push him off, but Blurry paid no mind to him, just kept talking calmly: "The rules are simple. We'll see how long you can hold your breath until you either get hospitalized or die. Joshua better hurry up. Tick tock, tick tock."

Tyler tried to scream but no sound came out. He kept struggling, though it was no use. Blurry rolled his eyes and said: "Woah, you're terrible at this game. Fine, you'll get a time out, just this once cuz I'm feeling nice."

And he let go and Tyler basically fell back into his body and caught his breath. He managed to tell Josh that Blurry was trying to kill him, before he was pulled back into that terrible realm of unconsciousness. Blurry's hands were around his neck again and he laughed: "Time out's over!" 

It was horrifying. Tyler couldn't breathe at all. He felt weaker and weaker. He heard Josh calling out to him somewhere far away and tried to reach out, but the room was getting blurry. Ha, the irony. His eyes rolled back and he officially gave up. To hell with it, Blurry had won. 

"Oh, time is up, Joshie boy," He heard Blurry say: "Tyler is a goner now."

S̶o̶m̶e̶b̶o̶d̶y̶ ̶c̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶t̶h̶

And then he heard the sirens going off. Help was here. He was going to make it. He had to make it. He reached out, trying to breathe. He heard Blurry let out an annoyed sigh as he said: "Oh boo, play time is over. Until next time I guess."

And then Tyler woke up in the ambulance and now he was here with Josh. He was safe for a moment. 

"Josh," He said quietly, squeezing Josh's hand: "I was sure I was going to die. I'm actually... Glad that I didn't."

"I'm glad too," Josh whispered, squeezing his hand back. Tyler smiled a bit and started humming, then silently singing: "I used to say I wanna die before I'm old..." 

Josh smiled and ran a hand through Tyler's hair gently, ignoring the looks he got from the paramedics. Tyler was alive and that was all that mattered at that moment. He spent the rest of the ride to the hospital listening to Tyler's silent singing, just feeling incredibly lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about that trigger warning idk what's wrong with me :'D


	24. hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [TW: Mentions of Self-harm (Non-graphic; cutting and burning)]

Tyler spent the rest of the night going through several tests and Josh spent the rest of the night worrying about him. He was sitting in the waiting room, dozing off when his name was called. He blinked his eyes open and saw a female nurse walking towards him with a small smile on her face. 

"Joshua Dun?" She asked and Josh nodded: "Tyler has to stay here overnight since we'll be getting the rest of his test results tomorrow and we also want to keep him on watch just in case something like that happens again, just to be safe. Then, unless we find something alerting in the test results, he will be free to leave, most likely tomorrow evening around 4 PM, I would say. That is of course, if there are no shifts in his state. Right now his vitals are looking nice and stable though. You should go home for the night."

"I'm not going anywhere without Tyler," Josh informed her and she nodded: "I can't make you. I just think it would be advisable to get a good night's sleep somewhere else than the hallway of a hospital, that is all."

"I'd rather be next to his bed. He has nightmares," Josh said and she sounded apologetic when she spoke: "Visiting hours are over, sadly."

"Aren't there alternative visiting hours?" Josh pressed and the nurse sighed: "I can't let you into his room. Goodnight Mr Dun." Then she walked away quickly. Josh groaned and leaned back on his chair, closing his eyes. 

In the hospital room, Tyler really wished that there would be alternative visiting hours, because Blurry was taunting him even more than usually. 

"Hey, Tyler," He said: "Won't you fall asleep soon? I have another game in mind. It's called 'Dodge or die'. There's only two rules; you either dodge or you die."

Tyler stayed silent, biting his lip and closing his eyes. Blurry sighed deeply and then started talking in a cheery voice again: "Or if you don't like that one, we could play 'death tag'. It's pretty simple too. I'm the tag and you try to run away from me. If I catch you it won't be pretty."

"Shut up," Tyler grumbled, turning to his side and covering his ears with a pillow, though of course it didn't help. If Tyler could've seen Blurry when he spoke again, he would've most definitely been pouting like a child: "You're being so mean to me, Tyler. It's no fun. I like it better when you shake, cry and beg. Could you do that for me?"

Tyler didn't say anything though he was tempted to tell Blurry to 'fucking make me'. He bit his lip to avoid saying that though because he knew that Blurry could and he would too. 

"Tyler," Blurry sounded angrier now and then downright dangerous: "Answer me."

"What do you want me to say?" Tyler snapped, sitting up on the bed: "I'm not playing another one of your sick "games" so you can forget about it."

"Ohhh, angry," Blurry whistled and Tyler heard the twisted joy in his voice: "Are you angry about my last game? C'mon, I wouldn't have killed you anyway. Maybe in your dreams, but haven't I told you I want you to do it, hm? So you might as well play, it'll only hurt for a while."

"Piss off, sadist," Tyler spat, curling up into a ball. He knew that saying that wasn't smart, but talking back at Blurry never was. He was scared at what was about to come but he just wanted to sleep without nightmares, if only a few hours. 

"You'll be sorry for saying that, Tyler. You'll be fucking sorry," Blurry said in the most chilling tone Tyler had ever heard and this time, he felt like he really had crossed a line he maybe shouldn't have crossed. He had to fall asleep at some point or Blurry would make him. Now, he feared again and he knew Blurry could feel it, from the cold chuckle the creature let out. 

"Scared, Tyler?" He asked and Tyler was. He always got these sudden spurts of bravery and Blurry made him regret them later. He took a deep breath and quietly whispered: "I was tired, I'm sorry."

"What?" Blurry asked him, sounding amused. Tyler repeated his apology and Blurry bursted out laughing: "You were tired, huh? I didn't even have to hurt you this time. That's a new level of pathetic even for you. But, you did ask quite sweetly... Fine, I'll forgive you if..."

If. There was always an if. Tyler braced himself for what was about to come. Blurry's reply made all of the hairs in Tyler's body stand up. 

"If you play," he said. Tyler took a shuddering breath and weighed his options. He could say no and make Blurry angry all over again and Blurry would hurt him. Or, he could say yes and Blurry would still hurt him, but the game would be slightly more fair. Of course, nothing with Blurry was fair. Ever. But if he was in a good mood, he would take pity on Tyler easier. Tyler had learned that quite quickly about Blurry; he never played fair, but if you pleased him and did what he told you, he gave you a chance. Tyler shivered at the memories that were coming back at him. Trying to please Blurry by cutting up his thighs and hips when he was a teenager. Burning his skin with a lighter. Not taking his medication. Anything, as long as Blurry wasn't mad. Then he'd stopped. And Blurry had been mad. Terrifyingly mad. Now Tyler had learned to do the minimum to keep Blurry satisfied, at least mostly.

"Fine, I'll play," Tyler replied, his voice trembling slightly. Blurry laughed softly and said: "Fall asleep then. Or need me to put you asleep?" 

"I--" Tyler started, but Blurry yawned and cut him off: "Changed my mind, you don't get to choose."

The now-familiar loud 'snap' echoed in Tyler's head and he went out like a broken street light.


	25. The deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a new chapter woop woop

The now-familiar loud 'snap' echoed in Tyler's head and he went out like a broken street light. 

 

The white room was nothing new, so Tyler wasn't surprised to open his eyes and find himself there, face to face with Blurry. Still, he took a step back when he met the red gaze of his "friend". He would never get used to it and in a way he was glad, because somehow it felt like he wasn't going completely crazy. 

"Hey there," Blurry grinned and took a step towards him. Tyler swallowed but stayed in place though his fingers were twitching from anxiety and fear. Blurry noticed this and grinned even wider as he asked: "What has got you so twitchy?" 

"Nothing," Tyler said quietly, hiding his hands behind his back. Blurry crossed the distance between them in two quick steps and grabbed a firm hold of Tyler's chin, tilting his head to the side, flashing him a fake-concerned smile. He almost sounded empathetic when he spoke, but Tyler knew it was a trick. 

"You can tell me, Tyler. I care what you think," Blurry said: "You know that right? I've told you many times. Remember that? I was and still am really the only one who does care about the thoughts of strange little Tyler."

"You don't care about anything. You're not capable of something like that," Tyler said and Blurry frowned, looking thoughtful for a moment before saying: "You know, I wish we could turn back time to the good old days when you weren't such an ungrateful little shit."

Tyler whimpered quietly as Blurry's black nails dug into his skin and the demonic creature spoke again, in a disgustingly cheery tone: "Remember that, hm? You used to tell me how you felt. You used to be so sweet and nice to me. You would do everything I asked you to."

Tyler shivered at the unpleasant memories of his childhood. He remembered how back then, he would've seen Blurry and felt his presence, but never see his face. He remembered calling the shadow 'Blurryface' when he talked about him, like he was an imaginary friend. When he had been young, he hadn't understood that he should've feared Blurry. Because up until Tyler turned 6, Blurry didn't do anything so extreme that Tyler would've had a reason to be afraid. Then the games had started. He would show up in Tyler's dreams and ask to play. Naively Tyler had said yes, thinking it would be something fun. Oh, how wrong the poor boy had been. 9He had woken up almost every night to himself scratching at his skin until he bled and screaming: "This game is not funny anymore, Blurry!" 

He remembered standing on front of Blurry, in a very similar room than this one, except it was blue everywhere and stars on the walls. He had been seven then, once again pulled into one of Blurry's sick games. He had stood there, his hands twitching at his sides and Tyler had asked the very same question: "What has got you so twitchy?" 

"I'm not twitchy," Tyler had replied back then, hiding his hands behind his back just like now. Blurry had told him that he could tell him anything, because he cared. 

"I'm afraid of you," Tyler had admitted then, looking down in fear. 

"Oh, sweet Tyler, you really should be," Blurry had laughed and disappeared into thin air and Tyler had woken up, unable to move or do anything. He remembered the terrifying feeling of seeing shadows out of the corner of his eye and hearing the taunting chant of: "My name is Blurryface and I care what you think. My name is Blurryface and I care what you think."

Tyler snapped back to the present moment and stared back at Blurry who was studying his expression carefully. The creature smiled and said: "Now you remember. We used to play so often. It was so much fun."

"Just tell me the game," Tyler said, clenching his fists just to stop his hands from trembling. Blurry frowned at him and pursed his lips: "You don't sound very enthusiastic."

"Should I? I'm just going to get hurt," Tyler replied angrily. Blurry looked thoughtful for a moment, before grinning and getting into Tyler's space as he spoke: "How about betting on it? You win and I leave you alone for three days. No speaking, no fucking with you. Just you and Josh for three days."

"And I trust you want something in return?" Tyler whispered back. Blurry's grin widened: "If I win, I get your body for three days. You don't resist or kick me out. Three days."

"Three days," Tyler repeated, blinking quickly. The thing was, three days without Blurry would be Heaven on Earth. But if the demon won. No, Tyler couldn't let that happen. Tyler shook his head and stepped backwards: "No. No, I'm not playing that. You won't play fair."

"But I swear I will this time!" Blurry whined, in a childish manner, though Tyler doubted the shadow had ever been anything even close to a child. 

"It'll be a fair bet because it will be a game of luck," Blurry said: "I really want to win because hey. Three days. My record is one day before you've managed to kick me out. As it is technically your body after all and it will be until I break you down completely or you die, you're the host. I can make you go to sleep for a few hours, but still you'll wake up eventually and start trying kick me out. Now, if I win though, you can't do that. But where's the fun on cheating to win?"

"A game of luck?" Tyler asked and Blurry nodded: "Yep. No way to cheat. Good ol' rock paper scissors. No twists. Three rounds."

"I win, you go away for three days. I lose..." Tyler gulped: "I lose, you get my body for three days."

"Yeah, exactly," Blurry grinned widely: "So how about it? Honest game, yeah? Feeling lucky today, Tyguy?" 

"What if I say no?" Tyler asked, gritting his teeth nervously. Blurry's expression fell and he raised an eyebrow. He shoved his hands into his pockets and clicked his tongue, pursing his lips. He sighed and sounded exasperated when he said: "Well, we can always play another game. No prizes. How about another round of 'Don't breathe', huh?" 

"N-No!" Tyler squeaked, raising his trembling hands: "Okay, okay! I'll play rock paper scirrors. Your rules."

"Good," Blurry grinned sickly, extending his hand for Tyler to shake: "Deal?" 

"Deal," Tyler whispered and took Blurry's hand. A wave of nauseousness washed over him and he let go like he had been burned. He had just made a fucking deal with a demon.


	26. rock beats scissors, sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally have the motivation for this fic so there will be a lot of chapters

Blurry smirked at him and asked if he was ready. Tyler swallowed and nodded slowly, raising his hand up, ready to play. Blurry did the same. 

"Rock, paper, scissors."

Tyler played paper. Blurry played rock. Tyler let out a shaky sigh. Blurry's lip twitched and they played again. Both got paper. They played again. 

"Rock, paper, scissors."

Tyler won again. His hand was shaking and Blurry was gritting his teeth. Tyler's knees felt weak as they played again. He could win this. He could win this and get rid of Blurry for three days. 

"Rock, paper, scissors." 

Blurry won this time and Tyler drew in a sharp breath. C'mon, he had just one more win to go. Again. They both played scissors. Again. Blurry won. They were tied. This couldn't be happening. Tyler's hand were trembling and he wasn't sure if he could even get them to still for long enough to form the shape he needed to. 

"Last round, Tyler," Blurry taunted, winking and Tyler felt sick. He struggled with speaking, his mouth dry as he said: "Can we--Can we take a break?"

"Afraid?" Blurry smiled and Tyler couldn't help nodding helplessly. Blurry laughed: "Hey, don't worry. I swear I won't kill Josh. We'll just have a but of fun, yeah? I promise, he'll like it even if he won't know it at that moment."

"Don't--" Tyler grit out, shaking his head and taking a deep breath: "Let's finish the game. I'm going to win."

Blurry let out a dry chuckle and they played. Tyler closed his eyes and played scissors. The room was quiet. He heard Blurry huff. Had he won? Slowly, he blinked his eyes open. He looked at their hands. Rock. Blurry had played rock. 

Tyler looked up at him and the demon smiled victoriously as he said: "Oops. I guess you were wrong. I won."

"No, no, no!" Tyler exclaimed, stepping backwards and tripping over his own feet. He couldn't breathe. Blurry had won and he had made a deal and he just knew that it was one he couldn't break even if he decided to try. 

"Yes, yes, yes!" Blurry mocked in a cheery tone, ignoring the fact that Tyler was basically having an anxiety attack right next to him. 

"So, this is going to be your home for a few days," Blurry explained, still grinning and speaking in a sing-song tone: "Have fun, I know I will!" 

Before Tyler could try to stop him and beg him to change his mind, he had already vanished in a whiff of black smoke, leaving Tyler all alone. Tyler laid there on the floor. He was an idiot. And now he had put Josh and everyone else in danger, because he had wanted a few days of silence. He broke down crying. 

×

Josh slept at the hospital and when morning came, he was allowed to go into Tyler's room. He was informed that nothing strange had happened during the night and that he would be ready to leave right away after they got his papers finished. Josh was glad. 

He was shown the way to Tyler's room and he knocked on the door politely, before stepping inside, grinning as he said: "Good morning!"

Tyler was sitting on his bed, flexing his fingers and looking at them, with a fascinated expression on his face. He turned towards the door at Josh's voice and blinked up at him for a moment before flashing him a wide grin and replying, in a bright voice: "Morning!" 

Josh walked up to the bed and stroked Tyler's hair gently. Tyler leaned into his touch and practically purred. Josh laughed softly and asked how he was feeling. 

"You know, Josh..." Tyler started and his voice sounded a bit off somehow, but Josh couldn't quite put his finger on why it sounded off, so he just decided to ignore it as Tyler continued speaking: "I feel amazing. Better than I have felt in forever."

He grinned widely, wider than he normally did. Josh was slightly taken aback by the overly enthusiastic answer and smile, but grinned back anyway and replied: "That's good. Are you ready to go home?" 

"Definitely," Tyler nodded and Josh pointed to the closet by the bed: "They said that your clothes are in there."

Tyler nodded and got up, crossing his way to the closet. His movements were somehow lighter, yet more confident than usually. He took out his clothes and Josh asked if he wanted him to leave the room while he changed. Tyler frowned. 

"Don't be so shy, Joshua," The singer grinned then as he unbuttoned the ugly hospital shirt: "It's nothing you haven't seen before, hm?" 

"I-I-I just thought I'd offer," Josh stammered, surprised by Tyler's confidence and smooth words. He made a lot of dirty jokes normally, yes, but this was different. Also, where the hell did 'Joshua' come from? Tyler never called him that. Josh watched wordlessly as the other man took off his clothes, all but his underwear and started pulling up his pants. He smiled at Josh and winked, buttoning his pants as he spoke: "You know, I think we're going to have a lot of fun."

"Yeah?" Josh hummed, swallowing past the lump in his throat as Tyler pulled his shirt on. The other flashed him that too-wide grin again and said: "Oh, yeah."


	27. interesting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hhhh, this chapter is very long and whoo, heads up for a lot of sexual scenarios and slight violence (no blood)

Blurry was excited. He was out and about and he didn't have to worry about Tyler getting in the way. He was walking home with Josh now and his mind was buzzing with ideas. He glanced at Josh who was looking back at him and quickly turned his head away. Blurry laughed. This guy really wanted Tyler didn't he?

"It's okay, you can stare if you like what you see that much," Blurry said. Really, he was just saying the things that Tyler constantly thought of out loud, just in a slightly dirtier and straightforward way. Josh choked on air and coughed for a good few seconds before collecting himself: "Good God Tyler, what is with you today?" 

"Oh, I'll show you what," Blurry replied, grinning madly as he took Josh's arm and pulled him away from the main street, into a small alleyway. Before Josh could question what he was doing, he pressed their lips together. It was an unfamiliar sensation for him. He knew how this worked. He'd seen Tyler kiss Josh, however, doing it himself was different. But if the sound that Josh made into the kiss was any indication on how he was doing, he would say well. Not that he cared what Josh thought of it. 

Josh was the first to pull back for breath and stared at Blurry, panting softly: "What the hell was that about?" 

Blurry smirked at him and leaned against him as he asked: "Am I in trouble for that, Joshie?" 

Tyler would have a lot of explaining to do after Blurry gave his body back, he though, grinning as Josh's face reddened. Josh seemed to be struggling to find the words and ended up lamely saying: "Did they give you some weird meds at the hospital? You're acting weird."

"No," Blurry said, pursing his lips: "I just really like seeing you squirm."

"Ty, I really think we should go home," Josh tried but Blurry cut him off: "What? Do you have an issue with this? You don't like it?" He pressed his leg in between Josh's to prove a point. Josh's head banged against the wall and he gasped. 

"I don't--I don't like it here," The drummer managed: "Besides, you should be, ah, resting."

"I don't give a shit about resting," Blurry spat and Josh's eyes went wide. Oh yeah, Tyler didn't curse. Literally ever. Whatever, because Blurry did and Josh would just have to get used to it. A big group of people walked past the alley, talking loudly and Josh squeezed his eyes shut, whimpering. Blurry glanced at him. Oh yeah, his social anxiety. The demon scoffed. Pathetic. 

"Scared?" He hummed and Josh shook his head, still keeping his eyes closed as he said: "I don't want to get caught."

"We won't," Blurry said carelessly: "Besides, don't pretend that you don't like this side of me. No use playing hard to get after you've been lusting after me for the past few years. What did you say just a few days ago, hm? I think I recall it was something about doing things at my pace, yeah?"

"Yeah, but--" Josh started and Blurry placed a hand on his chin, tilting his face towards him. His eyes flashed dangerously as he asked: "Are you saying no to me?" 

"No!" Josh exclaimed shaking his head again. Blurry grinned, leaning in to whisper into his ear: "That's more like it. That's really good. I don't like being told no."

"Tyler--" Josh groaned as the singer's lips found his neck. The allwy was quiet but Josh was anxious. As much as he enjoyed the feeling of the other's lips on his neck, he had to push him back: "Hey, hey, seriously no--not here. I'm not saying no to you. God knows I want you, but I am saying no to a dirty alley. What had gotten into you, Tyler?" 

"Joshie, relax," Blurry drawled, grinning at him: "Nobody will hear us here. Not if you stay nice and quiet." He pressed Josh against the wall firmly and kissed his jaw. Josh made a high-pitched noice and his breathing was getting heavy. Interesting. 

"No--Really Tyler," The drummer gasped out, still pushing him back. Blurry was getting irritated now. The man obviously wanted Tyler so what was wrong with this? 

"Tyler, c'mon," Josh said sternly and pushed Blurry away from him: "Someone could walk in here any second. A fan could--" 

"Josh, shut up," Blurry growled, staring up at the other man: "It feels like you want us to get caught." 

"I don't want to do this here. Just a few days ago you didn't want to do this at all," Josh spoke, placing a hand on Blurry's shoulder: "We don't have to rush it."

"I don't care what I thought a few days ago," Blurry hissed, grabbing Josh by the wrist and pressing him back against the wall, his grip on the other's wrist strong like iron. Josh whimpered. Honest to God whimpered. This was getting even more interesting now. Blurry leaned closer to whisper into his ear, in a low, dark tone that was closer to his than Tyler's voice: "Do you want me? Really, want me?" 

"Ty--" Josh started but Blurry cut him off with a growl. He didn't want Josh to speak of his headmate while he wasn't there: "None of that. No names. Answer the question."

"I--I-" Josh stammered out and Blurry dug his nails into his wrist. The drummer whimpered again and nodded frantically, whining: "Yes. Yes!" 

Blurry loosened his grip slightly, but very slightly and grinned widely at the other man who had a conflicted expression on his face; afraid but definitely aroused. Good, Blurry thought to himself, smirking. He noticed how Josh bit his lip at that, so he smirked wider and pressed his smaller frame against Josh's. His voice was even lower now and he wasn't even doing it on purpose. It tended to happen when he was out for a longer time. Josh didn't seem to notice, but the red eyes might be slightly difficult to explain. The color could start changing any minute now and the shadow knew that the angrier he got the more effective the change would be. But perhaps that was good. He had long before now decided that he enjoyed scaring Josh. He spoke: "You like when I do that? You like my smile?" 

Josh looked a bit helpless as he nodded and Blurry let out a short laugh, leaning closer and biting Josh's bottom lip lightly before he pulled back a bit, twisting Josh's arm into an awkward position. The pink-haired man hissed and gasped, but didn't struggle. He could've risked breaking his arm that way. Blurry just kept grinning as he said: "Now, let me make this very clear for you. You listenin'?"

"It hurts," Josh whimpered and Blurry rolled his eyes, using his free hand to slap Josh's cheek lightly to get him to focus as he spoke: "Oh, cry me a river and take it like a man. Now, are you listening?" 

"Yes," Josh squeaked, squeezing his eyes shut. Blurry groaned and told him to open them: "I want you to look at me, so I know you're listening."

Josh blinked his eyes open and looked at the man who was acting to strangely to him. What the hell had happened to sweet, shy Tyler? Blurry smiled and called him a good boy. Josh shivered. Since when was his voice so low?

"Like I said," Blurry started: "I'm going to make this very clear for you. If you don't keep your pretty little mouth shut, I will fucking break your arm and give you a reason to make noise. Deal?" 

"D-Deal," Josh gasped and Blurry let go of his wrist. Josh let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and rubbed at his aching wrist. There were deep nail marks on the inside of his wrist and he was sure it would bruise. However, he didn't have much time to think about it, before the other man was crowding his personal space again. Josh blinked down at him rapidly, his face reddening. 

"Who are you and what have you done to Tyler?" Josh asked jokingly, though his arm still hurt a bit. He supposed that he didn't mind Tyler trying new things, he just wished that the other man would've given him a heads up first. Blurry stopped what he was doing and stared up at Josh, a small, flirtatious smile on his lips as he replied in that low voice again: "You can call me Blurry."

Oh, so that was what Tyler was getting at, Josh thought to himself. Blurry watched him intently and he could basically see the gears turning in the other man's head. He waited patiently for his reply and wasn't disappointed when Josh asked: "Is this some sort of a roleplay thing?" 

Blurry chuckled lowly, licking his lips. He took a step away from Josh and looked down, snorting as he tried to collect himself. Poor guy had no idea. How sweet. At that moment, if Tyler was watching, he probably wished that he had told Josh about him. Blurry looked back up at Josh with a smirk and said: "You can call it anything you want, Joshie."

Then he winked and turned around on his heel, walking back out to the street and left Josh standing there and looking confused. Blurry walked slowly, grinning to himself as he heard Josh running after him. A hand was placed on his shoulder but he ignored it, looking forward as he kept walking. Playing mind games with Josh would be the best thing since Tyler's teenage years. Tyler was getting too good, to numb to it all, but Josh had no idea. The idea of that was so exciting. He knew that he would get Tyler in big trouble for this, but that's what he was there for, right? 

"Ty, I'm pretty confused here," Josh said and Blurry hummed: "Good for you."

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Or well, Blurry did and tuned out Josh who was trying to question him. They got to their house and Blurry went straight to Tyler's room. Josh stood at the door, looking a bit lost. Blurry smirked, pulling his shirt over his head. 

"Joining me or not?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the drummer. 

"Joining you?" Josh asked, his tone hesitant and Blurry rolled his eyes and spoke like he hadn't just pushed Josh against a wall and felt his hard-on against his thigh: "Yeah. I'm taking a nap, I'm tired."

"Didn't you just wake up?" Josh asked him dumbly and Blurry shrugged. He wasn't really tired, but teasing Josh was fun. Also, he wanted Josh to sleep so that he could walk around the house by himself. So, instead of explaining he said: "You look tired. Aren't you tired?" 

"Yeah, I--" Josh started but Blurry cut him off: "Well get over here then. Or are you scared?" He stretched the word 'scared' in a mocking manner, grinning at Josh challengingly. 

"Why the hell would I be scared?" Josh scoffed, rolling his eyes. Blurry's lips curled into a sexy smirk and his eyes seeped over Josh's body, stopping at his crotch for a moment as he questioned: "Do you have any 'other' problems that need to be taken care of then?" 

"Wh--uh-no! I'm fine! Really!" Josh stammered, walking into the room and getting on the bed, trying to sound smooth as he spoke: "No problems here."

"Yeah, whatever you say," Blurry chuckled and laid down next to him: "Don't cuddle me, I'm not in the mood."

"Of course," Josh said and Blurry nearly gagged at the disgusting sweetness in his voice. He thought Tyler was so delicate and innocent, it was actually disgusting. They layed in silence for a while, before Blurry groaned: "It's too fucking hot in here."

He heard Josh let out a sharp breath next to him. 

"Oh no, he cursed!" Blurry said mockingly and started kicking his pants off, huffing. He threw the black jeans onto the floor and Josh asked what he was doing. 

"I said that it's too fucking hot in here," Blurry repeated, rolling his eyes again. He felt Josh shuffle awkwardly next to him and huffed out a laugh. If only Tyler acted upon his thoughts this wouldn't be awkward at all for Josh. Josh turned to his side and sighed. 

"Sleep for God's sake," Blurry groaned, faking to be frustrated, though he was enjoying making Josh all flustered. Josh mumbled something about a distraction and turned his head away from him. They laid in silence and soon enough, Blurry could hear faint snoring next to him. Poor Josh. He was out like a light. 

Blurry got up quietly and pulled his pants back on, walking out of the room, into the kitchen. He walked up to the counter and opened one of the cabinets, the one with the knives and ran his fingers over the handles and hummed quietly to himself. Not yet, he decided and closed the cabinet. He could feel the nervous energy radiating from Tyler, somewhere in the back of his head and grinned. So, he was watching. Good. Because this was about to get interesting.


	28. Asphyxiation and red jeans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurry toys with Josh. Josh is confused and kind of turned on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have writer's block, my writer just hates the clock

Blurry spent almost two hours just walking around the apartment, just running his fingers along different materials to remember how they felt on his skin. It was so different now than before. Usually when he took over, he had an objective, something to do and he didn't have time for anything unnecessary. 

The whole time his mind was buzzing though. What would he do to Josh? He wanted to hear Tyler scream and beg for him to not hurt his precious drummer and not be able to do a single thing about it. He wouldn't kill Josh, of course, like he had promised. He was a man of his word after all. But he would not hesitate to go to new extremes to see Josh's face go white as a sheet and his eyes widen in fear. He smirked to himself at the thought. And the fact that Tyler was possibly seeing every little thing, but be powerless to do anything about it, made it all the more exciting. 

If someone who didn't know what was happening, Blurry's slow walking around the apartment and his soft touches might've even looked poetic in a way. And perhaps it still was, just in a more disturbing way than an outsider would see it. 

Blurry ran his fingertips across the armrest of the couch, smiling to himself. H̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶k̶n̶i̶f̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶J̶o̶s̶h̶'̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶a̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶s̶q̶u̶i̶r̶m̶. He walked into the kitchen and placed his hands on the counter, feeling the cold surface, humming quietly. H̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶c̶h̶o̶k̶e̶ ̶J̶o̶s̶h̶ ̶u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶m̶e̶r̶c̶y̶. He walked up to the sink, humming the tune to Kitchen Sink as he poured himself a glass of water. H̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ ̶l̶e̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶r̶u̶i̶s̶e̶s̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶J̶o̶s̶h̶'̶s̶ ̶b̶o̶d̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶m̶a̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶b̶l̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶.

He drank the glass of water, still smiling to himself as he walked back over to the door of Tyler's room. He slipped inside, deciding that Josh had slept enough already. 

The drummer was laying on his back, still snoring quietly, his hair all over his face. Tyler would've thought that he was adorable and Blurry wanted to vomit every time Tyler thought of disgustingly sweet things like that. But Tyler wasn't here now. Or he was, in away. Blurry could still feel that his presence was there and conscious, watching silently. Blurry smirked as he quietly slipped back into bed, underneath the sheets and effortlessly climbed on top of Josh, effectively pinning him down by his hips. Josh made a sound in his sleep but didn't wake up. Good. Blurry leaned forward, running his fingers along the curve of Josh's throat. How easy it would be just to push down and squeeze. Tyler was getting restless and Blurry chuckled quietly. He kept his hands on Josh's throat for a moment longer, before moving them upwards. He felt Tyler relax slightly. 

Blurry brushed some of the hair out of the other man's eyes and placed a hand over his mouth. Then he used his other hand to cover his nose mid-breath. Josh made a choking sound, then a muffled yell and his eyes flew open. Blurry let go of his nose, still keeping the hand on his mouth though in case he started screaming. Josh looked panicked and tried to push him off. 

"Calm down, Joshie," Blurry said calmly: "It's just me."

Josh stilled and said something, but it was muffled by Blurry's hands, so he moved it away from Josh's mouth, grinning down at him. Josh caught his breath for a second before gasping out: "What the fuck, Tyler?" 

"Waking you," Blurry shrugged, smirking. Josh stared at him for a moment, before saying, voice full of disbelief: "By choking me?" 

"There is a difference between choking and asphyxiation," Blurry replied. Josh groaned, rolling his eyes and out of nowhere grabbed a hold of his wrists and shifted so that he lost his balance and fell sideways onto the bed, next to Josh. He made a sound he would never admit making if someone asked, something between a shriek and a squeak. Josh was on top of him, before he could even register it, holding him down by the wrists, staring down at him with an arched eyebrow. Blurry glared up at him and shifted uncomfortably under his weight. 

"You think you're really smart, don't you?" Josh spoke calmly, but in a voice that had an angry edge to it. Blurry blinked up at him and flashed him a smile: "I do, yeah."

"Mm-mh?" Josh hummed and only a deaf person wouldn't have thought that is was sexy as hell: "So, you thought it was smart to scare me like that?" 

"Yeah," Blurry replied, that self-righteous grin still plastered on his face as he kept staring up at Josh: "Are you angry at me?" 

"A bit, yeah," Josh huffed, leaning closer to him. Blurry ignored the fact that his body was kind of reacting on his own in ways he hadn't been expecting as a shiver ran through his body. It had to be because it was Tyler's body. Yeah, that was it. He bravely kept the smirk on his face as he asked: "Are you going to punish me?"

"If that gets you quiet, then sure," Josh replied and leaned down to kiss his neck. Oh. Okay. That was new. Blurry's eyes fluttered as he tried to keep them open. He let out a sound he hadn't indented to make and Josh chuckled against his skin, his grip on Blurry's wrists loosening slightly. The thought of staying there was almost tempting and Blurry had no idea why. Tyler's thoughts probably messing with his own. He blinked his eyes open and with one quick movement, he had flipped them back around, pressing Josh down while trying to catch his breath. 

Josh stared up at him with a small smirk on his face and Blurry wanted to break his nose for that. Instead he pressed Josh down harder, growling at him. 

"Down, boy," Josh joked and Blurry's upper lip twitched. He was getting extremely angry over the fact that Josh really just thought that this was Tyler having fun. But he had made the choice to not tell Josh that he wasn't Tyler at all until the very end of the third day to leave it to him to explain to Josh what had happened, so he just grit his teeth and tried to look pleasant as he smiled and said: "Maybe in your dreams, Joshua."

Then he got up and off the bed, walking up to the closet and picked out a random shirt in the dim lighting. He pulled it on and hummed to himself. It was a bit big for him and an obnoxious shade of green. So, it had to have belonged to Josh at some point. He heard shuffling behind him as Josh got out of bed and walked up to him. He didn't turn around to face the other man, just pretended to look through the closet still. 

"You know, it's not very fair to tease," Josh told him, his voice barely above a whisper as he walked past. Blurry chuckled: "I don't tease."

He almost added 'that's Tyler's job' but stopped himself. Not yet. Josh sighed deeply, but didn't say anything else. He went into the bathroom and closed the door after himself. Blurry heard the shower start and wondered if Josh was taking care of his "problem". He chuckled to himself and walked into the kitchen. He knew that he should eat something, though he didn't feel hunger. Tyler hadn't eaten last night and his body needed it. And Blurry didn't want this experience to be ruined because his body got too weak. He didn't really know how to make anything though. Of course he'd watched Tyler, he was always there, but making something himself was different. After looking around the cabinets for a bit, he just decided to make himself some toast, which he somehow managed to burn. It tasted like shit, but he ate it anyway. He could feel Tyler watching his every move, calmer now that he was just doing something "normal", but still in a state of nervous tension. 

Blurry patiently waited for Josh to come out of the shower, humming Goner to himself, smiling when he felt Tyler tense up. The tapped his fingers on the table, before getting up and going back into the bedroom to put on something a bit more "him". He turned the lights on and went to the closet. The shirt he was wearing looked even more obnoxious now that the lights were on and Blurry actually wanted to gag. He took it off and shoved it to the very back of the closet. Why was it even there? He looked down at his black jeans and kicked them off as well, pursing his lips as he looked through the contents of the closet. 

"What do you think, Tyler?" He asked out loud, in a very conversational manner, grinning as he heard Tyler let out a sharp gasp as he added: "Only the best for Josh, right? Should we be pretty and innocent?" he took out a long sleeved white shirt and white pants, shrugging as he threw them on the bed: "Or... Should we be sinful and sexy? Hm?" He took out a black shirt and red pants, that were very tight and hung very low on his hips. He felt how uncomfortable Tyler was and laughed to himself. 

"Oh, aren't you just precious," He chuckled: "Nothing to be ashamed of."

He eyed the clothes for a moment and his pick was quite obvious, but he wanted to let Tyler believe like he was actually thinking about it. Tyler was restless and it was fun to feel him squirm. Blurry took the white shirt in his hands, making a face as he said: "This would suit your personality so well."

Then he threw the shirt across the room, speaking in a sing song voice: "Too bad that this isn't your body right now."

He put on the red pants, then the black shirt and walked over to Tyler's mirror, pulling down the sheet that was covering it and looked at himself, grinning. The pants hugged his frame and the shirt was short enough to show a peek of hip bones when he moved his arms. He leaned closer to the reflecting surface and looked at his face a bit closer. His eyes were definitely starting to look more red than dark brown. Right then, they were a shade of reddish brown, nearing dark crimson. He wasn't sure how long it would take for them to get bright red because he had never been in control for this long. Though he relished the thought of scaring Josh shitless, he hoped it wouldn't happen too quickly. He wanted Josh to think that he was Tyler for a while longer. But perhaps he could change his plans for the third day, just a little, by telling Josh who he was the first thing in the morning and have some real fun. He smiled at the thought and heard the shower stopping. 

He walked out of the bedroom, just as Josh came out of the bathroom, a towel around his hips, stopping dead on his tracks upon seeing Blurry. His eyes roamed over his body and Blurry chuckled softly, walking up to him. 

"My eyes are up here, Joshie" He said and Josh's gaze immediately snapped up to look at his face. Blurry smirked, a hand on Josh's chest, slowly running it downwards, stopping at the towel, to finger at the hem of it. Josh seemed frozen on the spot, his mouth slightly open, like he was about to say something, but the words got stuck somewhere. Blurry smiled up at him, fake-sweetly, and skillfully untucked the towel, holding it up still, as he leaned closer to whisper: "Oh, Josh."

Josh shivered and swayed slightly. Blurry smirked and pulled back as he said: "Don't you ever dry off all the way?" 

Then he let go of the towel, turned on his heel and walked into the kitchen, without looking back. He heard Josh groan loudly and mumble something as he made his way into his own bedroom and slammed the door after. Blurry chuckled and sat on the table, waiting for Josh to come out. Which he did, five minutes later, wearing a pair of gray shorts, a white t-shirt and an annoyed expression. Blurry smiled at him. Josh didn't smile back. 

"Aw, why such a sour face?" Blurry asked, still grinning. Josh said something under his breath and Blurry asked what it was. Josh let out a sound that could only be described as a growl and walked over to him, trapping him against the table, a hand on either side of his body. Blurry blinked down at him, a bit surprised at the sudden outburst, but kept the smirk on his face. 

"Seriously Tyler, I don't know what the hell is up with you today," The drummer said in a low voice: "And I don't know if you think that this is funny, but honestly, I'm getting tired of trying to guess what you want from me. I asked you to make up your mind before and I'm asking it again. Seriously, I don't understand what has gotten into you."

"Oh so you don't like me like this, hm?" Blurry hummed. His voice was calm but there was an angry edge to it and his eyes flashed dangerously: "You prefer the innocent and quiet Tyler? The sweet Tyler?" 

Josh glared at him, about to say something, but Blurry pushed him back and slid down from the table, crowding him against the kitchen counter, snarling: "Well, he isn't here right now. Deal with it, sweetheart."

"What the hell, Ty--" Josh started but Blurry cut him off, his voice sickly sweet now: "You said, Josh, if I'm not mistaken that you will love me for who I am. For everything that I am. 'I'll get you' and all that lovey-dovey bullshit. And now you're getting me. You're getting aaaall of me. And now it's not good?" 

Josh struggled to say something, but Blurry didn't give him the chance: "I think that you are a filthy little liar, Joshua. Or maybe," He grinned again: "You're afraid that you're enjoying this side of me a little too much, hm?" 

"Well either way," He shrugged, his voice getting louder and angrier: "Love this, pretty boy."

He flipped Josh off and walked out of the kitchen, grabbed Tyler's shoes, and went out the door. He walked down the street barefoot and then pulled his shoes on. What an ungrateful little shit. Well, now it was time to worry him a bit. Tyler was saying something, crying maybe, but Blurry ignored him and kept walking. He heard Josh yell something after him and broke into a run. 

"Let's see how much your pretty little drummer cares, shall we?" He asked Tyler, grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blurry's mood changes so quickly lol.


	29. Tease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurry has some fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am /so/ sorry I've taken for-fucking-ever to update. I've had no motivation to write this chapter because it was kind of a filler and I had no ideas for it whatsoever. So I'm sorry that after I made you all wait forever, the chapter is also kind of shitty. However I promise that the next chapter will be better and come out quicker. I'm so sorry, once more.

He made his way down the street, making as many turns as he could to keep Josh from finding him. It was time for him to learn a lesson. It wasn't long until he arrived at town, surprised that he had actually managed to find his way there. Tyler was still talking, though Blurry couldn't quite make out the words and it was getting beyond irritating. 

"Shut up, Tyler," he grit out and everything went quiet the very same second. Good. Tyler knew not to mess with him. He grinned to himself as he made his way towards the mall. He didn't have money with him to buy anything, but he was free to do anything he wanted, so why the hell not. 

He spent his time going through shops and appreciating the looks he got from people, mostly men. Married men, who were walking around with their wives, maybe a few kids. Blurry would just flash them a sexy smirk and keep walking. He quite enjoyed the attention he was getting. 

"See, Tyler?" He said under his breath: "Not so bad, hm?" Tyler whimpered and Blurry grinned widely, skipping to another store. He looked around, humming to himself. He stopped in front of a mirror to look at himself and flashed his reflection a grin, leaning closer to look at his eyes. They were the shade of red wine now, a bit lighter maybe. They could still be mistaken for brown if you didn't get too close. Soon they would match the color of his jeans though and then he could start getting questioned, but it didn't worry him. He downright waited for that moment. 

He walked around the store aimlessly, purposely irritating Tyler by stopping at the lingerie aisle and asking him if he thought Josh would like to see him in any of them. Tyler stayed quiet this time, but Blurry could feel him shifting and twitching anxiously. Blurry almost wished he had the money to buy something, just to make Tyler even more uncomfortable. Of course, he could shoplift, but getting caught and spending the rest of the day dealing with the consequences wasn't really an ideal way to spend his limited time. So, he left the store and almost ran straight into someone, while not looking where he was going. 

"Watch where the fuck you're g--" Blurry started, though the near-crash had obviously been his fault, but the rest of the sentence got caught somewhere in it's way out, when he looked up to face Josh: "Oh."

"Oh?" Josh repeated, raising an eyebrow at him: "God, Tyler, I've been looking all over the place for you and I'm glad I was because here you are running into people like nobody's business." 

"Screw you," Blurry spat and pushed past the other man, smiling inwardly as Josh stumbled a bit at the result of the none-too-gentle shove from him. Josh didn't give up though and grabbed his wrist before he could slip away. 

"Tyler, I'm at a loss here and I really need you to explain what's up with you," Josh said, sounding desperate. Blurry sighed and turned back towards him, pursing his lips as he spoke: "I just want to have some fun."

"So, shoving me, cursing at me and worrying me is fun now?" Josh questioned and Blurry rolled his eyes: "It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard."

Josh's eyes widened and he practically choked on air, starting to cough. Blurry laughed loudly and patted him on the shoulder, winking as he added: "Don't choke on it either."

Then he took advantage of the other's loosened hold on his wrist and pulled his arm free, walking the opposite direction quickly and practically diving into a crowd of office workers, laughing as he heard Josh coming after him and yelling out Tyler's name. He bumped into a tall guy in a nice suit and stopped to look up at him. The guy looked back and his face was very obviously red. Blurry grinned and winked at him, making sure that Josh, who was still struggling to get through the crowd, saw how close he was standing to the man. 

"Call me," He said, grinning from ear to ear as he slipped past the guy and ran to the staircase that lead to the floor below. 

"Tyler, come on!" Josh yelled after him and Blurry laughed, running down the stairs at top speed. This was fun. Tyler was telling him to stop, but he didn't listen. Instead, he rounded a corner and hid behind it. After a short moment, Josh hurried past him and he had to cover his mouth with his hand to avoid laughing out loud. He smirked to himself and walked after Josh, making sure that the other man didn't notice him until the last moment. He walked up behind the drummer and placed his hands on his hips, blowing air against his neck. Josh twitched and turned around to face him with a hilariously confused expression on his face. 

"Tyler, seriously--" Josh started, but the other cut him off by saying: "I wanna go to a bar. Joining me?" 

"What--It's like 5 PM, it's way too early," Josh mumbled and Blurry rolled his eyes at him: "I didn't mean now."

"Well, first I'd like you to explain what the hell is up with you, either way," Josh replied, stubbornly. Blurry made a face at him, crossing his arms and tilting his head a bit as he studied Josh's face, trying to figure out what he would answer. He sighed and shrugged: "Josh, c'mon, let me have my fun. I realized that life is short. I almost died. I want to do stupid things because there's a chance I could never do them if I don't now!"

That was a good answer. Josh went quiet and sighed: "You're not gonna die anytime soon, Tyler."

"But what if I do?" Blurry challenged and Josh rolled his eyes: "You won't. But fine. I guess that's a valid explanation."

Blurry grinned. God, Josh was so easy. He would probably believe anything Blurry said to him. Stupid. He took both of Josh's hands and pulled him along, grinning: "Let's go look around for a bit, yeah? You can pick out something cute for me."

"Oh yeah? Do you have any money?" Josh chuckled and Blurry flashed him a smirk: "No. But you do," he gestured to the bag Josh was carrying around, adding, in a flirty tone: "I'll pay you back."

He could see how Josh's legs nearly gave out when he said that. The drummer swallowed and nodded then: "Yeah, okay, I guess."

Blurry laughed and started dragging Josh through stores, mostly just looking around, though each time they passed a lingerie aisle, he shot a suggestive look at Josh who pretended not to notice, though his face was redder than his hair. Some fans came up to them at one point and asked for pictures and Blurry wanted to tell them to fuck off, but then he remembered that he was supposed to be Tyler, so he smiled and said 'of course' though it made him want to throw up. He purposely closed his eyes for the picture, so that the internet, where people loved theorizing, wouldn't notice anything off about his eyes. He was playing a risky game by taking over for so long, but he wasn't stupid. He wanted to freak Josh out, not the entire world. Just yet.

They went to eat and Josh seemed to be a bit more relaxed now as well which was exactly what Blurry was counting on. They easily spent 4 hours just looking around and Blurry ended up getting a red hoodie, just because. But now, he wanted to have some real fun. Which meant alcohol. He had only been in control while their body had been under the influence only a few times, but he'd liked it. And he wanted to see how Josh would be like when he was jealous. So they headed to a bar, despite Josh's protests.

Blurry sat down on a stool and gave Josh a puppy-faced look, asking: "Will you please buy me a drink?" Josh sighed, but asked which one he wanted.

"Mhh, sex on the beach," Blurry replied, with a slow smirk. Josh rolled his eyes and probably blushed, though Blurry couldn't see in the dark. Josh ordered Blurry his drink and got himself a beer with a long sigh. Blurry groaned: "Sound a little less enthusiastic, will you?"

"Sorry," Josh mumbled as he wax handed his beer: "I'd just much rather be home right now."

"You're boring," Blurry informed him, grinning at the bartender when she gave him his drink. He took a sip. It was sweet, but the bitter taste of alcohol came through and he made a face even as he took another sip. He and Josh sat in silence until Blurry had finished his drink and ordered a shot of vodka as well. He took the shot and made a disgusted sound but managed to get it down. It had been a while since the last time he'd taken shots. Still, after a moment, the shot, along with the sex on the beach made him feel pleasantly fuzzy. He smirked at Josh who was brooding over his glass of beer.

Blurry got up and made his way to the dance floor, where a fair amount of people were dancing already. Showtime. The music was... Well, it was fucking shitty. But it had a beat to it and Blurry could deal with that. He started moving to the heavy beat, looking over at Josh who definitely looked interested as he watched him. Good. He kept going and was obviously attracting the attention of some people other than Josh as well. That, he didn't mind either. Some guy whistled at him and he grinned, blowing him a kiss, turning to look back at Josh just in time to see his eyes narrowing. Jealousy was such a funny thing. He went over to the mystery guy, dancing close to him, not quite touching though. He could feel Josh's glare and smirked.

"Aren't you a sight," Mystery guy smirked at him. He wasn't that attractive. Okay-looking at most. But Blurry had no intention of actually bedding him, so he was perfect to make Josh jealous. He grinned back and replied: "I know, right?"

"I like the attitude," The guy said, moving closer to him, placing his hands on his hips. Blurry laughed at that and pressed his body against his: "Straight to the point, huh? I like that."

He moved closer, lips almost touching the other man's when a hand was placed on his shoulder and Josh's voice spoke: "I think we should head home."

Blurry actually shivered. He'd never heard Josh speak in a tone like that. "Sorry, my boyfriend is such a drag," He said to mystery guy and pulled away from him, letting Josh practically pull him away from the dance floor.

"What the hell, Tyler?" Josh asked him once they were away from the loud music. Blurry hummed and smirked: "What did I do?"

"You were practically humping that guy," Josh said, sounding frustrated. Blurry laughed, looking up at him, pressing against his side: "You never made me exclusively yours. Be more specific, Joshua."

Josh's face reddened slightly in the dark and he pulled Blurry out of the crappy bar, pressing him against the wall once they were out. Blurry looked up at him, smirking. Josh looked a bit confused, staring at him, before asking: "Do you want to be mine?"

Blurry chuckled and pressed his lip la against Josh's, pulling him close and taking advantage of his slightly shocked state to flip their positions around, before pulling away from the kiss, speaking against Josh's lips: "When you ask it like that; Fuck no."

Then he pulled away and started walking, much like the day before, knowing Josh would follow, which he did, yet again trying to talk to him, in a frustrated tone. Blurry toned him out. He was sad that this had to end tomorrow. Playing with Josh was so much fun. But tomorrow though, the real play time would begin and it wouldn't be any sweet kisses or teasing. Blurry wondered what Josh would look with a knife to his throat. Well. He was about to find out.


	30. Gasp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who lost their writing mood for a good while again? That's right, ya boi Gabe. But I'm back with this chapter that is sadly again a filler, before the next chapter where shit will really go down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [THIS CHAPTER IS ALMOST COMPLETELY SMUT. IT HAS NO CRUCIAL INFORMATION CONCERNING THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS, SO IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH A QUITE DESCRIPTIVE HANDJOB AND A BLOWJOB, DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ONE]

The two men got back home eventually and Josh slammed the door after himself. Blurry laughed. He was excited. Just a few hours from now and he'd get to see Josh get scared. Fear would suit him well, twisting his soft features. Right now, the thing that was twisting his features wasn't fear, it was annoyance, even nearly anger. Blurry was intrigued by it. 

"I'm going to bed," Josh said. Even his voice was angry. It made chills run down Blurry's back. Oh, he liked this Josh. He followed Josh into the bedroom, where the other man laid down on the bed with a sigh and turned his back to Blurry, who climbed in after him, chuckling: "Are you angry at me, Joshua?" 

"You confuse me, Ty and it's not fair. I want to sleep now. Can you let me be alone for a while?" Josh sighed. Blurry scoffed. Whine, whine, fucking whine! That's all people ever did. Blurry rolled his eyes and climbed on top of Josh, practically forcing him to turn onto his back. Josh glared up at him. Blurry smirked. 

"Tyler, I'm being serious," Josh said, warningly. Blurry grinned and pushed his cold fingers underneath Josh's shirt noticing that his hands looked darker than Tyler's usually did and let out a pleased hum at his discovery. 

"Don't tease me," Josh grumbled, trying to push him off, but Blurry didn't budge. Josh stared up at him and blinked a few times before saying in a stern voice: "Tyler, I swear--" 

"No teasing this time," Blurry said, his voice dropping lower than Tyler's ever could and to prove a point, rolled his hips against Josh's, getting a moan from the drummer. Josh stared up at him, all wide eyes and hitching breath and Blurry smirked down at him, rolling his hips again slowly. Josh groaned and his eyes fluttered shut as he mumbled: "You'd better not be teasing me."

"Yeah?" Blurry hummed, trailing his fingers across Josh's chest. Tyler was telling him to stop, his voice much clearer now than before, but Blurry ignored it, instead smirking wider and practically purring: "Does this feel good?" 

Josh gasped as Blurry shifted his position a bit and the demon grinned, leaning down: "Am I making you feel good, Joshie?" 

Josh shivered at that and nodded his head. Blurry chuckled lowly, nibbling on his ear lightly before speaking again: "Good, because I plan on making you come in your pants."

"Yeah?" Josh breathed out and Blurry replied shortly with a 'yes'. Josh let out a small, breathless kind of laugh and spoke: "Not if I make you first."

"Uh-huh, sure. How're you gonna do that, pinned down like this?" Blurry teased. He liked this. It was fun. He couldn't understand why Tyler was so fucking weird about it. He mentally told Tyler, who was still telling him to stop, to shut the fuck up and kept rolling his hips against Josh's. Tyler had watched enough porn, with Blurry in the "backseat" that he knew how this worked. He hadn't imagined it would be this enjoyable though. While he was lost in thought though, Josh saw his chance and swiftly flipped their positions over, pinning Blurry against the bed. 

The entity was about to protest, but then Josh ground his hips down against his and it felt /so/ much better, so he just laid back and let out an extremely pornographic sound. Josh growled at that and began kissing down his neck and collarbones, much like the time Blurry had woken him up by covering up his airways. This was about a million times better though, with the rough friction against his already leaking cock. 

"Fuck, Tyler," Josh groaned and Blurry smarled: "Blurry. Call me Blurry, Josh--" 

Josh didn't quite understand Tyler's sudden fixation with roleplaying this character, Blurry, he had just made up not too long ago, but he didn't mind it too much. It felt sort of naughty in a way, like he was doing this with someone else, while not actually cheating, which he would never do. 

"Blurry," Josh moaned, gripping the smaller man's hips as he grinded against him. Blurry kept moving in sync with Josh, moaning even louder now that Josh had said his name and his name only. He moved his hands to Josh's belt and quickly unbuckled it, followed by the button and zipper. He shoved his hand into Josh's pants, touching him through the thin fabric of his boxers curiously. He bit his lip. Josh was big. 

Josh moaned at that and wasted no time getting Blurry out of the tight red jeans, also starting to touch him through his underwear. Blurry groaned and stared up at Josh in the dimly lit room. Josh stared right back and slowly slid his hand into Blurry's boxers, fingers wrapping around his cock and stroking once, twice, before pulling away. Blurry whined and Josh chuckled, spitting into his palm and going back to stroking him, getting a very different-sounding whine out of him this time. You'd think that someone with as terrible control issues as Blurry would be having a problem submitting like this, but he found he quite liked being under Josh's mercy for the time being. That would change very soon though. 

Blurry slipped his hand into Josh's boxers as well, after spitting into it like Josh had done with his, feeling around, still in a curious, almost, despite the situation, childish manner, before actually grabbing a hold of it with a small gasp at how big the other man actually was. He'd have to get him to fuck him sometime, though today was not that day. He didn't want to be sore or off at all tomorrow. He needed all of his focus with him when he made Josh scream so that he could surely remember it all and fantasize about it once Tyler was back in control. 

After a while of this, Blurry was a panting mess underneath Josh, with drool dribbling down his cheek and he honestly didn't even care because it felt so good he wanted to scream. Josh was breathing heavily too, Blurry's and Tyler's names mixing into one as they left his lips. Blurry didn't mind this either, because even though Tyler was still weakly telling him to stop, it got him going as well. Blurry could hear Tyler's whimpers at the back of his head and for once they weren't annoying him. If anything, they made the whole situation even hotter. 

"Josh, I'm going to-" He moaned, bucking up into Josh's fist. Josh nodded above him, gasping out: "I know. I know, baby, me too. Just let it happen."

Josh leaned down and kissed the side of his mouth gently. Blurry made a face but didn't protest. Josh thought it was Tyler, so trying to be disgustingly gentle was not surprising. It didn't really matter, because Josh was still jerking him off and before he knew it, he was coming with a loud moan. He arched his back, his hand on Josh's cock coming to a stop as he felt the incredible euphoria all over his body. Yep, definitely beat alcohol any day. Josh didn't whine when he stop, just kept jerking him slowly until he came down from his high and whined for Josh to stop as he was over sensitive. Josh did, immediately, and leaned down to give him a proper kiss, seemingly unbothered by the fact that he was still rock hard and hadn't cummed yet. 

Blurry kissed him back sloppily, before pushing Josh off him and down on the bed, on his back, staring down at him, breathily saying: "I wanna put my mouth on you."

He moved down, in between Josh's legs, staring up at him as he licked over the head of his cock, smirking when Josh groaned loudly and breathed out: "You're gonna be the death of me-" 

"Close, but not quite," Blurry mumbled and took the head into his mouth, experimentally swirling his tongue around it, eyes never leaving Josh's. Josh didn't look away either, though his eyes looked like they were about to roll back any second. Blurry took him just a bit deeper and that's all it took for Josh to start chanting: "I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum!" 

Not quite fond of the idea of Josh coming in his mouth, Blurry pulled off and jerked Josh's cock with his hand again. Josh tensed up for a moment and then cum shot out of his cock, hitting Blurry's fingers and cheek. He made a face and wiped off the cum from his cheek and then wiped his hand on the sheets. 

"That was--That was nice," Josh said, with a breathless laugh. Blurry chuckled too and nodded: "I agree."

Blurry laid down next to him, looking up at the ceiling and smirking to himself. Josh was in for a surprise when Blurry woke him up with a knife to hit throat and told him that he wasn't Tyler at all. Josh turned to face him and put an arm around his waist. Blurry didn't protest. He'd let Josh believe that he was his sweet little Tyler for a while longer. 

"G'night," Josh mumbled and Blurry replied with a chuckle. He should get some sleep and perhaps talk to Tyler. Oh, he would definitely talk to Tyler. He closed his eyes and slowly let himself slip into that all-too-familiar white room where he found Tyler, pressed against the wall, hands over his eyes, crying as usual. Blurry rolled his eyes at his display and grinned cheerily as he walked up to him. 

"Oh, Josh was so good to me... Sorry, should I say you? He thought it was you anyway," Blurry hummed and smirked when Tyler let out a sob. Poor thing had wanted their first time to be "special". How utterly, adorably pathetic of him. Blurry kept talking: "He's gonna be real surprised when he wakes up to /you/ pressing a knife to his throat."

Tyler flinched and looked up at him, shakily whispering: "No--No, don't hurt him, please-" 

"As sweet as your begging is..." Blurry said, in that disgustingly sweet tone he always used with Tyler: "I don't think I'll pass up an opportunity like this. But don't worry, Sugar, I'll make sure that he knows it's me. You won't get in trouble."

"Blurry please!" Tyler wailed, gripping the entity's wrist, surprising both of them: "Blurry, I'm begging you, I'll do anything, please--Just don't hurt Josh--Please-" He started to sob again. 

Blurry chuckled and ran a hand through Tyler's hair, tilting the man's head upwards by lifting up his chin. Tyler stared at him with tearful eyes. Blurry grinned: "As tempting as that sounds, I'm afraid my answer is still no."

And then he was gone, like he had never been there at all. Tyler screamed at him to come back, begged, cursed and cried and Blurry just slept peacefully, already planning tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M ON A HIGHHHHWAYYY TO HELL


	31. A/N

Hey guys, I'm so sorry that this isn't an actual update. I'm writing it right now and it will be out eventually, but I'm having a bit of trouble with thinking where to take this fic. So first of all, if you have anything you'd like to see in this fic, please leave suggestions in the comments.

And secondly, I have started a new fic on this account called 'Bleed me out (and tell me you love me, though I won't say it back)' ((I know, long title, sounds like a fucking fall out boy song)) and it's based on a really amazing RP I had with a really good friend of mine. So basically I have it completely pre-written as a role play and I just have to change it into story form. And truthfully I'm kinda more into that one as of right now and it will have much more regular updates than this one (though I promise to update this too). Bleed me out is quite a lot more screwed up than this one but personally I think it's so much better written and organized as this one and like I said, updates will be regular. The deal is though that it kinda flopped when I posted it. So guys, I'm asking you to do me a huge favor and at least check it out if you enjoy my writing because it's actually a really good fanfic, if you can handle some disturbing content.

Thank you. 

Sorry for being a promo whore. 

And leave those comments, I really want to hear your ideas as I really didn't think this through as much as I should've. I sincerely apologize. But the next update is in the making!

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea my friend and I actually thought of together because we are both conspiracy theory trash and TØP trash and I just had to write it.


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